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Grace for being Conscious

2011-12-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

I should woken up in the morning.

heard the birds chirping.

feels thankful to the Owner of the

Earth for letting me alive today.

well . . .

I should. but it’s not should be

done.

Not today.

Really not today.

Grace For Being Conscious

The music was playing so hard. as I remember some glasses of wine was already empty. I should take a shot. just a shot for warming my cold body. but I didn’t do it as my beloved girl seemed don’t like for me to do so.

afterwards, I was keeping myself busier. was letting this body move while some eyes might be staring at every step I was taking. I am such a fragile body, yes I am. so I decided to took my seat instead. I still could see smoke lingering the room. the RnB music still made my head and legs moves here and there.

I saw many poker face. I saw many my beloved girls was dancing a great dancing. beau Girls don’t care the eyes was watching over the moves. but that’s why these girls are lovable.

Then was sitting beside me another best girl. trembling. feeling cold of the coldy air. ah . . some men offered her a drink. offered an interesting story that anyone could hear, including me.

Time had passed we didn’t know just gone by like that. I still sit. watched all over the room. heard the music while was moving my body according to the melody.

a man was standing in front of me I didn’t realize. then he sit, asked my age. “how old I could be?” I was asking him to guess. he gave me 25 till 15. I just laughed instead. wondering why people guess me younger old older. never hit the real. or I am not real maybe?

it was my first time I said to him to be in this kind of place. he didn’t hear. or to be sure he was not willing to hear.

he gave me snap. after he broke it into some single pieces. he gave me the small part.

seeing myself didn’t really react. he gave me another piece. it was big piece, I know. I took it and pretend to swallow it. but I failed. he got me cheat.

it was so bitter. I said to him innocently. he asked me to take my glass of water and swallow it. then it was.

I believed my body will not react. my body is already the place of medicine. why should I react with this one?

seeing myself didn’t really react. he gave me another piece. it was big piece, I know. I took it and pretend to swallow it. but I failed. he got me cheat.

it was so bitter. I said to him innocently. he asked me to take my glass of water and swallow it. then it was.

I believed my body will not react. my body is already the place of medicine. why should I react with this one?

the minutes after that. I went to the bathroom, hoped for vomiting. yes I felt I was like to. but it didn’t.

didn’t know what to do. the man seemed like stare at me analyzed if the snap worked out.

but I still was a normal body. I took a shot then. was warming myself from the temperature which become cold and cold.

I was still a normal body when the other man came to me and said that the beloved girl love me so much, gave the command to take care of me, not coke me for red wine nor beer.

but I’ve already took a shot of the bloody wine. and I felt just good. warm. as I used to feel after taking another shoot of vodka.

an hour might passed. I felt numb..

it’s never the same as the book I read. nor everything more clear even the carpet brushed . not. never

even the ladies laughing is something nothing.

I felt cold, warm and numb.

I keep pinching my cheek, hoping I would feel the pain. but it was a total vain. I couldn’t feel anything. my phone was like the cotton. so light.

my vision was blur. I thought about crying instead. but it was not helping at all.

it was hectic. it was sad, it was not me.

but after an hour I am back to be a normal person again.

for me, being conscious in the most precious thing. I like to feel the pain on my knee, I like the way I feel my skin touch anothers’.

I like it that way, love that way.

All Things Must Pass

2011-10-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hi Pals,

I am now sitting still with the full anxious face. wondering why today has been being so tricky upon me. and guess what, I use british still to let you know that it is not the end yet. not about I will end up the day with a nice sleeping beauty posture and done the day.

remember my last posting on 5^th September. it maybe the last positive body, mind and soul was writing such a texts on the blog. at the day after the day, I realized and slapped of the biggest mistake I ever made. I make a dog’s food on my company house ceremony.

i know it’s a total balls up I make on them. I give up. can not retrieve any good position as I ever feel before. I feel aware lost of confirmation. maybe the day the world psycho was at hand underneath the sleep blanket of mine.

I started sleep on the floor, even couldn’t touch my food at all for three days.. my family support me. I even am getting closer to everyone in my family also as in my broading house.

every single moment has its own goodness and badness. yeah, it is..

but I just never be the same as the old me.. I become paranoid.

this day, this Thursday I got a miraculous quote when I was surfing on my flixster. got a new movie slide to watch and it’s true enough.

“The Matter is NOT About What You DID, but WHAT YOU DIDN’T” –THE IDLES –

it freeze me enough. yes. I shouldn’t be afraid to do something. I always become so shy and so absolute that everyone could think the same thought as me. but it’s false and I am learning so much from the incident.

it’s been a nail on my foot this two months. I feel torture psychologically. I just can’t stop praying for a miracle and have been thinking about flee someday.

sometimes in this life. no matter what we do, it just can’t change even the small part, even it’s small as a sand.

but unknowingly. our character is change greatly.

we have to through it folks, face the problem no matter what.

I will survive till the end too.

I don’t wanna be the quitters that never win.

Falling makes me know what is Rising

I will also fight again for tomorrow. I will try face even the very worst possibilities could come after me makes me like chop chop the life and feel being torture.

I have to stand up all. feeling the pain until you know that you can’t even lift your last finger and realized you are helpless.

but thank you there’s a listener.

and there’s another people to compare with.

the last words for today is

“FAITH IT, till you DO IT.”

Sympathy Of Egoism

2011-10-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gents,

I’m not going to talk about how mortality is increasing nowadays, nor about the toddler who was hit by two vehicles nor the sudden death of the Moto GP Athlete. No, not of them. Im fully understand that death could come any times by any ways. Sound like the way of Love comes, isn’t it?

We just can’t fully overprotect ourselves and BANG!! We save.

Also we can’t just borderless fully borderless and BANG!! We die.

But it will not be a sin if we try our best to live a better life in a careful ways. Take care ourselves and live a healthy life.

Off of it. Right now I’d like to say about sympathy.

For me, humanity chain of relationship is created by needs.

Because I need you to lend me some money then I come closer to you

Because I need you to accompany me to a prom, so that I ask you.

Of course it’s such a clear sentence to show the example. (and you also could change it to the contrary)

But don’t you think about this, something more egoist, something more outside your box, maybe outside anyone’s boxes.

Because :

I need you to smile to me so that I smile to you.

I need my sight to be cleared on the road, so I would like to put aside the toddler who has just hit by the vehicle

Or at least I need my way become clean so that I would like to throw the garbage onto the trash.

Don’t people like for being a king? Then why don’t you be a king today!

but, with yourself as a servant also.

Don’t you know when you treat yourself beautifully, in a special way and luxurious. Maybe others, no no no. it’s absolutely! Others will do the same to you!!

Waw!

Look likes a Politics of Expancy, isn’t it?

King = You

1^st Servant = You

2^nd servant = maybe someone on your family. But it is not YOU!! Wonderful!

3^rd servant = anybody.

You can’t see it clearly? Okay..okay..

Let me give an example of very two gossipers, A and B

One day A is going to prepare a dinner for the class. B is A’s assistance. Then they come up with a conversation

A : the dish is sure so delicious. But it’s so sticky of the chocolate Pie. It’s keeping dirty the side of the plate when I put it on.

B : well we should try to make it any good then for the next plate.

A : Okay then. For the a little dirty plate. May we serve it for Anita (maybe Anita is your friend)

B :Okay good. She never take a serious problem with it.

A : and the other dirty plate for XX ? (this is you!!)

B : no, we should not give it to XX. She always do everything clean and clearly. So it maybe annoy her and it will make a bad impression.

See?

This is what I mean. People will do what you usually do. This is could be called as a sympathy. The reaction of something happened among us.

People nowadays sure lack of sympathy. They think “my is mine, your is yours.”

I can not blame the development of technology nor the ways your parents rise you nor the environment treat you.

But don’t you ever think this life is not about you? It’s about something bigger beyond your imagination.

But if you couldn’t show your sympathy in a normal ways, that you react because your mind, your heart told you so. Because of love.

At least because your state of egoism. Because you feel it will bother you. Because you don’t like to see something mess up.

Try to give your sympathy with love, or at least with egoism.

Or if you are too busy for doing that. At least say “I can see.” And maybe it will improves to “I can hear.” Then “I can help.” Although it will be done with your own way.

But don’t let it be too late to do something.

Make every second of your lives counted.

I’m not a good kind angelic people. But at least I know.

Our life is too xoxo to waste.

Secret Recipe - Better Life -

2011-09-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

Tidak, Tidak, kali ini tidak curhat atau bergosip. tentu bukan. -kenapa tidak berbahasa inggris?- ah, kali ini aku sedang mengambil cuti bahasa asing xp.

baiklah, aku sedang belajar membuat novel lagi. jadi bahasanya aku rubah sedikit, sembari latihan.

off to the topic.

merasa tidak bahagia sekarang?

merasa sepi? hidupnya seakan kosong?

ah, kalian terlalu melankolis. apalagi kaum hawa, mungkin hanya bisa cengar-cengir saat membaca kata "melankolis" . tidak mau mengakui tapi merasa . hahaha. tidak apa-apa, manusia memang begitu, suka menyangkal diri.

tapi jangan menyangkal yang negatif terus ya!

tidak mengerti?

maksudnya. saat melakukan kesalahan. mengaku salah, jangan menyangkal

kalau menyangkal yang positif. harus seperti orang tua di meja makan, bilang tidak lapar meski perut keroncongan, itu dilakukan agar anaknya dapat makan dengan tenang dan kenyang.

ah, sudahlah. bukan soal ini kok yang mau dibahas.

hanya sekadar tips saja. selama ini tidak pernah disharing kemanapun karena memang malas dan aku merasa semua orang harusnya tahu hal ini.

sudahlah. langsung saja :

# Temukan Apa yang benar-benar ingin kau lakukan di dalam hidup.

ini bukan tentang cita-cita. tapi visi, sesuatu yang lebih dalam. agak abstrak namun pasti dan dapat tergapai dalam hitungan detik!!

contohnya :

- aku ingin membahagiakan orang tua

masaklah makanan kesukaannya, berguyon dengan beliau dan mengobrol. buatlah mereka tersenyum bebas dan tertawa terbahak-bahak

maka Case is Closed

aku sendiri, keinginanku adalah membuat dunia menjadi tempat yang lebih baik untuk dihuni.

sebuah keinginan yang terkesan sulit dan berlebihan bukan? hahaha

tidak, tentu tidak. aku memiliki sebuah quote yang aku buat sendiri. ini aku jadikan pesan di buku tahunan saat aku lulus SMA

Karena bukan kamu yang hidup di dunia, melainkan dunia hidup di dalam kamu

oleh karena itu, rubahlah dirimu, pemikiran-pemikiranmu, perilakumu. jadilah lebih baik setiap harinya. paling tidak PUTUSKAN! untuk menjadi lebih baik setiap harinya. dan itulah yang akan terjadi. pemikiran baik menimbulkan perlakuan baik.

ini bukan NATO = No Action Talk Only

buatlah komitmen-komitmen kuat dalam hati anda untuk menjadi lebih baik. saat komitmen dan pemikiran anda sudah tercampur rapi, maka saat itu pula, saat anda melakukan hal yang sebaliknya. anda akan merasa tidak enak. otometikli, the case is closed.

# Jadilah nyaman dan batasi

membuang sampah pada tempatnya sangat menyebalkan, apalagi tempat sampah diletakkan tiap 10 meter. siapa yang mau menenteng sampah sejauh 5 meter atau sekian meter.

ah kalian memang pembual dan argumentator yang hebat!!

coba buanglah sampah di kamar kalian dan jangan pernah buang di luar. bagaimana rasanya? tidak nyaman kan? ciptakanlah sense of belonging pada lingkungan sekitar.

ayolah, jangan berpikir lingkungan itu seperti lingkungan sekolah, lingkungan rumah atau lingkungan umum.

scoupenya terlalu besar. coba katakan lingkungan tukang bakso, lingkungan wc, lingkungan 10 meter.

dengan scoupe yang kecil, manusia cenderung lebih merespon banyak.

buatlah batasan-batasan kecil, jadilah pahlawan bagi diri sendiri, bagi 5 langkah yang anda tempuh atau bahkan bagi kuku anda.

borderless is being border

(artikan sendiri, aku tidak mau postnya terlalu banyak.)

tidak, tidak. bukan malas. sudah ku bilang manusia kalau sudah lihat tulisan panjang-panjang, mereka keburu malas membaca!

# Lakukan dengan hati dan jadilah egois!

wow!! biasa saja. jangan heran dan mengkritik dulu. tenang-tenang

untuk ini aku berikan sesuatu yang abstrak.

jika kau melakukan point 1 dengan benar. maka kau pasti akan mengerti.

aku tidak suka membereskan kamarku, sungguh!! aku rasa akan menghabiskan dua malam lebih jika aku berniat membereskannya.

tapi sungguh aku tidak suka melihat kamar seperti kapal pecah begini. pakaian di lantai, di atas lemari, tv bercampur dengan buku dan sampah. ugghh

nyaman sih, nyaman-nyaman saja. kamar berantakan membuat nuansa tanda-tanda kehidupan. tapi kalau kacau begini sih sudah membuat nuansa tanda-tanda peperangan!

akhirnya demi kenyamananku (alter ego -egois tk dasar manusia) aku beres-beres. saat melakukannya harus dengan sepenuh hati untuk mencapai kenyamanan dan kepuasan tersendiri.

tidak bisa sepenuh hati?? buat border! border yang aku selalu pakai adalah

No Pain No Gain

kalau mau enak, harus susah. ini artinya kita harus punya trigger untuk menyemangati diri sendiri.

# Tangan Di Atas. Hati Di Bawah

bukan soal senam, tenang saja. ini mengenai mental.

mental seorang dermawan mendatangkan kedermawanan lain bagi diri sendiri.

banyak memberi membuat kau banyak diberi. ini hukum

ayolah, jangan berpikir materi. tidakkah kau tahu, senyuman seseorang itu lebih mahal harganya?

pengusaha sukses di barat sana pun (aku lupa siapa) berkata senyuman itu seharga 1jt dollar.

dan jadilah hamba bagi yang lain.

contohnya. aku tidak suka disuruh-suruh oleh kakakku. tapi kalau aku tidak mengerjakannya, dia pasti akan mengomel terus. kau tahu, mendengar ocehan seorang perempuan itu membuat telinga jadi panas tidak karuan, merambat ke otak dan seakan sebentar lagi kau akan jadi gila.

jadi untuk kenyamananku, untuk hidup yang lebih tenang. aku melakukannya.

tentu saja kadang boleh menolak. tapi ingat

Wajah Yang Kotor Bisa Dibersihkan, Tapi Hati Yang Kotor?

dalam segala keputusan, hendaknya kau berpikir dua sampai tiga kali. dalam segala perbuatan dan ucapan. jangan sampai menyakiti. karena jika kau melakukan point 1 dengan benar. kau benar-benar akan merasa tidak nyaman.

# other recipe

1. Buatlah List Pekerjaan satu hari. apa saja yang ingin kau lakukan dalam satu hari itu.

pernah nonton The Bucket List ? tontonlah dan tirulah. hiduplah seperti kau akan menghilang besok!

2. Jangan berbohong!

ini bukan tentang dosa (setidaknya disini) ini tentang bagaimana repotnya jika kau berbohong. sekalipun kau adalah seorang LiEXPERT. kau harus merancag semuanya agar menjadi masuk akal. dari kebohongan satu ke kebohongan lain.

3. Perbuatlah sesuatu bagi orang lain

kalau bahasa inggrisnya mungkin

"do something for others"

nah bisa lebih luas, bukan hanya manusia, tapi juga lingkungan dan yang lainnya.

jujur saja. bagiku, kalau sudah sangat suntuk. aku akan berjala-jalan sendiri. mengobrol dengan orang asing yang aku jumpa di jalan, menyapa atau memberi senyum. menyebrangkan kakek atau nenek, membawakan bawaan mereka.

wow!! menolong orang lain seperti merefresh otak. rasanya seperti menjalani liburan yang mengasyikan!

bukan sombong. ayolah, jangan mengkritik. bagaimana kalau kalian coba juga?

dan jujur saja, berbuat kebaikan pada orang yang tidak dikenal lebih membuat lega.

4. Menangislah!!

ini untuk terapi, sungguh. search google saja.

5. take a walk alone

6. berdoa dan tersenyum. putuskan untuk menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik setiap harinya, bukan! setiap detiknya!

7. kerjakanlah hal yang paling tidak ingin kau kerjakan

. ingat, asas kenyamanan dan egois ya!!

untuk berhenti memikirkan hal yang kita tidak suka adalah dengan cara menyelesaikannya.

8. bersyukurlah senantiasa.

9. Take Your Crazy Day

Day ya! bukan Days! jadilah gila dan nikmati dirimu sendiri. sukai apa yang telah kau lakukan. jadilah seorang narsisus.

Kasihilah sesamamu manusia seperti kau mengasihi dirimu sendiri.

God Has Been Knowing Human is full of egoism. jadi itulah yang Beliau sampaikan. at least cintailah dirimu jika kamu tak bisa mencintai orang lain.

apa? kau bilang kau orang yang rela berkorban? ah masa, coba jujur, di balik rasa rela berkorban pasti ada sesuatu hasrat egois yang mentrigger kan?

untuk disayang? untuk membuat orang lain tersenyum agar kamu tersenyum? ayolah...

==============

semoga ada yang membaca posting ini ya. atau paling tidak membaca 1 point saja dan menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik.

let's make a better place. start from yourself.

and becoz it's too many of yourselves. it is a possibility to change the world.

DECIDE

you life is too xoxo to waste.

Lakukanlah hal-hal kecil yang mungkin, lalu kau akan menemukan dirimu telah melakukan hal-hal besar yang tidak mungkin.

there will always be Ever in nEver!!

Let Me Have these Words

2011-08-24T01:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence day, tho it's late.

On behalf of The Nation of Indonesia, The Land Of Pertiwi, The Land that have been being Declared its Freedom on August, 17^th year 1945.

The Land that had been won by the Partisan from Dutch and Japan For such a long torment and hardship of Colonialism.

On Behalf of the people of Indonesia, People who has a dream and hope for a better life, a hope for better future to let their main spring being risen in this land. People who fight everyday for making a better place to settle.

I am, the little girl that means nothing for you. the girl’s unknown whose voice doesn’t count.

here, beg for having a such short speech On behalf of justice, a word of dream which never be exist. a word that everyone pursuit like crazy in order to have the happiness.

we are, the Indonesian people, have been living in this country for so many times. we are the republicans, of which the pillars of it are By People, for People, to People - whose the voice should be counted seriously – have fought continually for our living.

we are due to choose the leader every five years and live under the reign of the Chosen one. we expect for the better life. the better food to eat, the better clothe to wear.

we live with hope day by day. we reckon our life to whom we’ve chosen.

now, im here to let you open your eyes. it such a waste to keep rely on a man. there’s no benefit of do some demonstration for getting justice. it’s totally false for doing many kind of for the Greater Good.

Silence.

first thing that we have to do. stay in the silence. build the foundation of Fighting Spirit.

Open Mind

let every knowledge of the earth flows to your mind, every differences, every moment that has been being happened.

Dream Visualization

think about it deeper. what kind of life you fight for, what kind of justice you wanna see.

then, Move and Create

Indonesian people, most of them stuck in a word “leader”. leader may has a choice, leader may create a good life for them, leader may bring them to the piece.

no, no, no, it’s not about it. it’s our life. it’s our nation. the simple thing to change our Faith is change ourselves.

the future of the nation is lay on the people decision.

people will lead the nation to the true identity of the nation itself.

stand, people. stop murmur, live borderless. it’s not the leader change the nation nor your faith. it’s yours.

do you remember what had been being happened on 16^th of august 1945? some people decide to Free the nation from colonialism. some people had declared the independence, some people had broadcasted it, some people decided to be free.

And because what some people had decided, there 17^th august ’45, declared as Independence day for Indonesia. not for some people. but for all the lands, even the small one, even the villagers, the newborn, the hinterland, who don’t even know what had been happened in their nation.

then we are, the independence people, today is standing in the independence nation. free to choose, to talk, to think. free to give our aspiration and free to refuse.

why we are still living borderless? why our lives overwhelm with the words “we are nothing” , “we are unseen” , “our voice doesn’t count”

go, walk, run, break the wall.

we can change our faith once we decide.

===================================================

The Decider

they decide to do something than messing around

they decide to live their lives and keep moving on

they know that their life is in their hand

they decide to win, and there they are, the winner

-pictures by google-

cause your life is too much xoxo to waste

Coins For Charity -Unschool Children-

2011-08-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

the most important question is “What have you done for others?”

don’t you agree about this one.

well, I woke up in the morning and somehow realize. what I have done for others. how many people fight in suffering while I am dilli-dallying with my life. hip hop the life and enjoy many things that actually don’t necessary.

sometimes there’s a time when I think this life is so vain. full of vanity, many plays and filth. tho sometimes I always ensure this life is great. hence it’s better to always do the best everyday, with heart, with purity.

yesterday, a friend of mine, offered me for being a member in one of charity group “Coins For The Unschool Kid”

it makes me realize. many kids that used to be in school for studying but they can not do that or maybe some of them don’t want to do that.

again, I remember about the umbrella-boy I met when I was hanging out with my sister. it was a rainy day, rainy and windy.

my sister asked him if he don’t go to school at that hour. he said he couldn’t get to school, his family had no enough money for that, so he let his sister school instead of him. sometimes it seems pity to know this fact since our government looks like easy to spend money to build here and there. they build some skyscrapers in order to make a comfortable place to work. but let the important one just passed by.

it’s true some schools, maybe many of them in Indonesia look like a shack and sometimes placeless. the sky is the platform and the ground is the foundation. pity, yes it is.

so that, after knowing this is what really happened in Indonesia, a place that I really fond of because it’s view and people. I agree for being a member on this charity group. I hope it could be developed into a great charity group, since the government will not help at all.

Shopping (AGAIN) Wif the Girls

2011-08-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

When the girl hear this magical word “SHOPPING” they will yell like crazy. smile like babies meettheir mommies. and maybe will jump jump. hahahaha

yes, shopping is the funniest and most relaxing activity for the girls, esp if they have a personal ATM Machine, you-know-who (but it doesn’t mean it’s good tho)

well, I’m here not to avenge the girl. im now in the boys side. wanna complain how annoying to walk the girls shop.

well, this is the story.

it was the fabulous weather in the morning, the air was good and the sky seemed friendly. it was not a windy day or cloudy day. just was a day.

I should had the appointment with my new buddy. and should had been in place in the morning, as I command beforehand to him.

but suddenly I had to settle some businesses. accompanied my best girl to the car washer and buy some painting. yeah!! that must be good. must be. I’d like to hang out with this one.

the car wash moment seemed good as usual. but when it went to find the paint moment, kinda itchy. wanted to flee somehow.

why? it’s because girls sometimes can not decide what they really want. they don’t have a plan before they go shopping. it’s totally dangerous. that’s why many girls nowadays become a businesswoman with a brilliant carrier (at least above the men’s) in order to fulfill their shopping line

think about shopping – go shopping –buy anything (I mean it! ANYTHING!)

no budgeting plan, no vision. just shopping for soul with a bunch of imagination.

and here we go, we planned. again. P-L-A-N-N-E-D to buy a can of green paint, we did find one. but girl is kinda unique, they looked another so may that they could find any better ones.

we saw four catalogs of color with many gradients. we saw samples and the label. (label is the another secret keys to shop)

okay then, we found another one for being “spare” . that if we don’t like the green.

after that, we suddenly stood in a bundle of wallpaper and wallpaper border, waw, amusing! amazing! yey yey yey

(are we here for being here? for this stuff? )

it ain’t. but girls may say this “do all at once” multi-tasking right?

I mean we had done what we had to do, then why we were still there?

because life is to much xo.. #bah CUT it up! time is precious. do the prior one. shopping and window shopping is great, but don’t be sunk. id like to walk you shop, I mean it, but sometimes if it go further to the imagination-shopping, mean no plans. I get knocked down. hahahaha

life is sure to much xoxo to waste.

Grace of being alive

2011-08-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

Ya know, sometimes I found it totally black out. Yeah, the reason why I should be born, why-were-i-born

Everybody should has his own reason to be created by The Creator right?

But now I am looking to the moon thru my rental room windows. Have I been useful for humankinds?

No, no, it’s not about being a hero or something like that. It’s about have I created someone’s happiness with my heart, being pure and live in a total meant.

Actually, all I want is become someone that anyone could count on. Whom the shoulders are needed. The thoughts are heard and the appearance’s seen.

I wanna be a stranger but leave the mark after im gone. It’s okay for being forgotten tho, as long as when im there, I could smile happily with anyone, with heart, with no burden. Being really satisfied with the whole time I may spend with them. It’s a nice thing to help the other stranger and after that being nobody. A traveler. Time after time. Come and go. Satisfied and happy.

I wanna be a symphony for someone’s life. The lamp that they might need when sky reaches the dark. The arrival whom everyone long for.

I know my life may should be alone. But it’s not lonely.

You know, sometimes I always say to myself. You never can be lonely if you are just alone. From the beginning you are alone. Never feel the community, and become-unity with people. But sometimes I ask again to myself. Why I feel so lonely, lonely enough to kill me softly.

Ah, yeah! I yell to myself. It’s not the life I meant to be. I should be mingled. Force myself. And yes it is.. I go to the crowd. Found it sick when I feel lonely in the crowded. It won’t make me any better. Why should I do? Everybody is the stranger. They have a friend beside them to cry with, laugh with, share with. And still, I am here standing. Starred by them. They might think “why is she alone” , “what is she doing?” , “why she sat in the middle chair.” Yes I am… alone.. and the worse is, I am in the crowd.

I don’t wanna be alone. I wanna have anyone to share with, even the one is dangerous, I just want. So I start to speak to the stranger, shared a story while passing by. While watching a movie in the cinema. Made them think “who is she?” , “where is she from?” , and the most I want “it’s a graceful to meet her.”

And after that, I am in my rental room, was looking the moon thru the windows. The difference is, I smile, with my heart. Satisfied with what I do everyday, feeling grace for living in this world.

I am alive. And I have done something great today. What will I do for tomorrow, always have a hope. Life is Good -LG-

I am not empty anymore and being alone is something I looking for

Enjoy every single time with myself. It’s like I am dating myself.

And I have many stranger outside whom I can share with.

I love my life.

I feel I don’t have to pursuit the happiness anymore, because it’s in the palm on my hand.

I don’t have to live in the world anymore. Because the world lives in me, no matter I am alive or death. My appearance could be a beautiful memoriam lingering in the world. At least I think like this.

I wanna this life is total. All out. Pure and full of fight. Minimize all the bad thoughts. Start to think positive about every moment. Even being dumped and single is a funny things. A failure is an art. A success is a jackpot.

The world I looking for…

No life attached or border. All is about what’s within you. Heart. Love to stay or leave.

Because again, life measures in a moment, not a time.

Families, I hope I’ve be the best part you have.

Friends, I hope I’ve become the greatest memory would never be forgotten.

World, I drag you to my hand and heart. Happiness, I summon you to be around my life. Purity I create you to fill this bowl of my heart.

God. Thank you for making me your child.

Now I’d like to sigh, how great this life is…….

Until being vain is a sin.

My life to too much xoxo to waste.

Sorry Blogg - eerrgghh :(

2011-08-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, Hi

i nu there's no one hi me back, there XP

no, no, no it's alright, all i wanna say is Sorry to my blog, actually i barely (shall) maybe (will) (but i dont want to-do-that)(maybe) have an affair wif "WordPush"

sometimes i found it boring to make a new post and sometimes i found it not-that-cute being blogger than a WordPusher..

im sorry again with this. but when i started to look for my "WP" themes, in order to make up my site, i just opened this blog and say "Oh Damn, my Blog is so cute somehow!!"

and here i am, blogging again xoxo..

having come to experience this moment. i think to attribute it to the humanity.

it's like

You Will Find Something is Worth after You Left It

There's always Ever in nEver

2011-07-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

actually i never think my life is gonna go to this way..

don't you think why i learn biology, chemistry and other science like death man?

science is so real and so good.. my mind just keep working and couldnt get satisfaction until i meet the end.

i am more scientist than businesswoman, right? every step i take i always think about doing something crazy.. i am a lil bit crazy to see money and to see a cemical liquid so amusing.

yeah. i never think about gin or vodka..

i more curious about Formaldehid and Helium..hahahaha

but again, here i am.. mingling with some stuffs we call

"pin"

i barely dont have a time to see the potato box.

this life just goes in a way i can not even describe... i am more english than british, the other fact that makes me a lil bit shock too.. my ability just decrease..

i hope for a better me day by day..

doing anything with heart.. giving the best to others without neglect my happiness.. i believe what i desire will comes true.. ..it's better to changes because i decide to than change for other's happiness, since God say love the others as you love yourself, so i have to make myself comfortable enough..

i am change and i proud of it..

my job is to create your smile..

and to make you smile, i have to smile with my heart..

i wanna live without any regretion.. i wanna make every second counts.. i wanna create many moments,, because that life is.. a moment.. not a time..

i love you

thanks to anyone

Wanna know Why? Hold on. Come on

2011-06-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hi! (again)

actually this day is such a messy day.. no no no.. not a messy day, but a messy hours...

i really hate wiseguy. really. and hate to beg to someone. when i ask someone to A, then u swear to do A, that's what u do!!

at first i have said. if i told you, u will do B. but someone always promise to do A due to take a role for being wise act!

the hell with that! that's why i just cant stand people. people is a bowl of lie and overact (me, include, maybe)

i dont really like to chit chat heart to heart. i listen more. but when you request me to talk openly, i demand for total listening!! no hero act!!

i dont like hero! i dont like you to gimme some good advice (on your mind)!! and watch this carefully! a dumpy ass is more wise than u could ever knew! good grief. even for what you demand i have to be suffer. hold that crap. then i go. demand as you like, mask like hell i am,,

Hope for thee

2011-05-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

i Hope it could maybe someday there is someone who loves me because i lack of something. just like i ever been in love with my archangel. i want thee who may will be my someone someday loves me like i was being in love with the arcangel.

kill me,my other character dont. i could never live if my minus is outside of me..
kill the other me dont.. if i am the good is the heart, then i am the bad is the body. couldn't be separated because it was a trully human being natural side..

for avery day has gone by. thee who may will be the next make me try to kill, try to hate the bodu of mine. but i am as good as death to kill the body the bad of mine..

dont you know it will be so amazing to know i am not alone if i love myself? my good, my bad..

it's mu art of life.. being someday good, being someday bad... no other could bring the happiness to know i am so perfect in imperfectness ^^

Crazy duzz

2011-01-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

i find it's suck to do something i dont like to do. why my life hasw to be messed up like this. i dont what i do and i dont like being pressed by other. it's like im pushed and dragged into the spider web that i cannot pass. i wanna be free. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE!!!!!!!

im losing my mind. wanna throw up. im sickening of this trap of them they had said for my good, not bad. i hate this

I GOT A JOB!!!

2011-01-14T05:20:00.000-08:00

kinda nervous here... geez..wondering for becoming a flight attendant or a professional model,, well guess what?? im an entrepreneur now..

but it's okay right? experience to learn and chase what i am really wanna do at once..
it's like a pain on my butt to get myself unknowingly get this.

today has to be the day im off of my town.. but gezz again. i can't. my lil bro wanna see his GF. so i have to get out of town with him. on sunday. it's kinda itchy to think about it. i dont like to do something out of rule. out of schedule. huufffttt

what am i gonna say.. i couldn't do anything since i have to follow what the eldery say..

sorry to chill my heart out... i never want to do this but sometime i wanna have a medium to talk, since im hardly to find someone who like to listen to me..

ahh..then again i, twice.. day by day.. was draming about my death father.

first. i was dreaming about the day he died. but it's the other version. i saw my dad being stabbed by knife. i am the witness. but everyone didn't want to listen to me. they said i was crazy. so they decided to call a monk. the monk took a cellphone whose my dad always use. then it was becoming a medium to repeat (review as a video) the day that my dad being stabbed. afterwards, yes it worked!!

i saw again my dad being stab. then i cried aloud. i was mouning. i shouted, but nobody stopped the monk from the ritual. my family was waiting me outside and peek me, seeing me as i was just become crazy to see a video that they dont know what the title is.

after that, in the condition like i was being torture, i took the cell phone and ran away

weird dream...but the second is beseeming a reality

the second dream was showing how my dad so strict so cruel. i see my dad snapped at me and pull out his anger to me for being so snailly in taking a bath, so his guest can't use the bathroom. i never ask to dream about my dad....
but to know his anger and how th way he was angry to me.. an evil words and the way he want to beat me.. it's make me more comfortable......

Kind of Heels

2011-01-10T00:30:00.000-08:00

Shoe Lovers, are YOU???!!!
yes! is that what im hearing now??

For a newbie in Heels' world. i got an information for you! before you got yourself to the store. it's wise to decide what kind of shoe you wanna buy and what kind of heels that convenient you the most.
of course woman could do anything for wearing the best beautiful slipper. but it's just not right to give people a weird show of walking if the heels you wearing doesn't suit you.

<> *shiver*

now ladies. rock on your feet!!

kitten heels,

are you an amateur?? if it's the very first time for you to wear a beautiful shoes as heels. this one is very recommended. comfortable and lovely. you can use it for working, partying of hanging out with your friend.

see kitten heels, here!

stilettos,

eemmm... you maybe such an expert for wearing this fabulus high and elegant heels shoe.
(i can't wearing such a heels for sure. i am such an amateur too. ^^)
this kind of heels is very perfect to bring you to an enchant ball room with a beautiful and pretentious gown covering your body. but this heels will be very-very annoy you if you wear this to a ceremony that makes you have to stand for many hours and it aint good for wearing in field work where you have to run.

are you kidding me!! never see what stilettos is? clik it here!

wedges,

yeah!! this type of heels. i like it the most. it's convenient and you don't get your tummy sore. trust me!
every heels like stiletto or kitten, even if it's so pretty sand elegant, but it get your feet sore! this one will overcome that matter.

platforms, block heels and pencil thin ones

Love is so Tasty

2011-01-08T00:06:00.000-08:00

everyone has the different way to feel about love. the same goes to me.

about the heart thumping, the sadness and one side or requitted love,, i have my own words to describe those things. it's not so long when i start to fall in love again and it's still fresh like a dew in the morning for me to share.

for me, love is to devour. i dont care if i own the man or not. because what's i concern the most is the way i feel to the guy. the pounding of my heart and the slight smile that comes suddenly, the dazzling eyes and the sad heart. that's the feeling that i dont want to lose it than lose a guy, himself. for me, love is taste, love is to devour, to feel.

more than a possesion.

more than a love each other

Loving Harrys

i had had a boy i love the most when i had been in junior High. his name is Harrys. he's just so nice (up until now) and so tender. he's like a fragile paper for me to take care of.

for two years i had been in love with him. no word to say, no touching. just a simple glance and flirting. i never thought that i would fall for him. it's just unpredictable. love is always like that tho.. without noticing, without the rain falling nor the beautiful voice of the bird chirping. it just comes that way, special or just an ordinary way. but your way to feel it is the special way.

loving him just like that. it's just so so. just so ordinary. it's taste like a fairy floss. a simple sweet with a beautiful appearance.

Loving Robbo

sure!!!! it was taste like a sugar. nothing's special. just like it. just an ordinary appearance. so sticky yet sweet. but it could do. for me, Robbo was a child, yes we were so young. so the way i felt for him just like a cats and dogs (love) rain. pouring, drop by drop of sweet. pure above the cloud but was so dirt if it comes to the street. it was cats and dogs. full of play.

Loving Gabriel

the wise one and fabulus of those archangel, he's gabriel. loving him just taste like heave. i can't restrain myself. i am in the past an the present feel just stuck with his play. he's a liquor, a beautiful chocolate full of rum. bitter and sweet, he is.

my heart will always beat so fast when i see his dazzling eyes. father like, gentle and tender yet so kind. i want to devour him again and again. but still, from now on, the bitter is all that left. i wonder where the sweet goes.

Loving Luckchuck

the meaning of his name is 'Light, the bringer of Luck'. he's so talented and classic. i can't devour him. he's so far.. i really wanna taste the most classical and beautiful love like a cinnamon. but it's seems i couldn't. i dare to put down of all my willingness just for devouring my taste of love for him. i do with my all thought wanna devour his love too. he's so strict and cant be tamed and cage. he's so elegant and expensive. but still he's a wood, can be find anywhere. but his taste is unusual, just so good, very good and classic and honourable to devour it.

it's all the taste of love that i love to devour. love is taste like a sweet and i am the eater. they say love is a game for two. but in here. i am the one who play the role. because still, i am the eater. if the sweets becomes bitter more. then it's time for me to leave.

so, what is the taste of your love?

it must be good to devour

AARRGGGHHHHH MESSUP!!

2010-12-08T01:05:00.001-08:00

HOLD THAT CRAP!! i had been tired this day, how had i could wonder this day was going to mess on me. firstable,, it had been out of schedule,, then im totally knocked down,, gimme some breath pals. of course i aint dilly dallying,, but it's biggy than befor,, who taught that i am suddenly being known as a coordinator??

then i'm buzy with my novel making,,, i can't work if it's gonna be like this! Oh,, my,, all i want to see is everything was being prepared then i will get my work to do,, if i have to doing a gathering and then teaching also, it's tiresome. don't let me wish my leg get hurt so i am able to free from this Job, just please. do me some space, so i cant do my part and they too do their part.

since i am so tired like this time, i have to pull up myself to prepare at least four dancing step in a night?? holly jamma lamma.

and still i am being known again as a 'leader' (again?) trustfully i hate that kind of attitude. i don't wanna be a black sheep again while i am deciding to change my personality.

i ain't kind girl anymore

i am lovely no more. so please. think up!! it isn't just an avenge nor revenge. just wanna tell that i am already buzy, so don't gimme a buzz anymore. gezz so bothersome. sudenly called. what a wasting time and my pin money.

-__________-"

How Buzzy X-mas Prepare

2010-12-06T22:51:00.000-08:00

annyeonghaseyo!!!! then pals.. it's been being a superbb buzzy month for a lot of us,, rite? (or maybe it's just for me?) (T______T)

well then, that's why it's called X-mas, we've to spend our time to prepare a gift or partay,, well i have to take a role in x-mas drama and then give a children a dancing exercise. it's definately tiresome.. but it's my gift to my colleague in church then..

since they are so kind too ^____^

off of it!! i have to gout of my home almost 7 days a week,, i hope i can never get tired to do that, since it's a rainy season and my health is bad tho,, hope i can stand till the very end. he he he

but,, again,, i have a stupendous news for ya!!! i had given my novel to a publishing company, they told me that they will contact me in 10 days!! i hope it will being published *__*

and now i have been writing my new novel. the title issssshhhh... i'll keep that for later. he he he..

Wish Me Luck for Me work, me family and me novel ^6^ !!!

good day then pal.. -an old dogs for ya ^^-

Marshmallow Eataholic

2010-12-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

snowy marshmallow

marshmallow x-mas santa

Lolipop marshmallow

Baby crying marshmallow

toasted marshmallow

Marshmallow in box

barbeq-marshmallow

Doughnut Vr Marshmallow

Marshmallow community

Rabbit Marsh Family mallow

Happy Marshmallow

Zoo MArshmallow

MArshmallow take the lead

Deceiving marshmallow

MArshmallow Defeat ring

Queen of marshmallow

Mallow-Pillow

Marshmallow bunch

Charly's angel marshmallow

Strawberry Marshmallow Recipe

2010-12-06T22:19:00.000-08:00

actually i get this recipe from here. i still shouldn't try it for myself yet tho,, but maybe you could make it first!!!!! so let me share the Strawberry Marshmallow recipe. Enjoy Cheffing!!!!

Fresh strawberry puree makes these fluffy, heavenly marshmallows burst with fruit flavor. The texture of these marshmallows is amazing—they are so light, they give no resistance when you bite into them, and they practically melt in your mouth.

You can make the strawberry puree by cooking fresh or frozen berries in a saucepan for about 10 minutes, then blending the soft berries in a blender or food processor. Note that marshmallows need to sit for at least 8-10 hours before cutting them, so it’s a good idea to make these the night before you plan to eat them.

Ingredients:

1-1/4 cups water, divided
1/2 cup strawberry puree
4 envelopes gelatin
3 cups sugar
1-1/4 cups light corn syrup
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch

Preparation:

1. Prepare a 9x13 pan by lining it with aluminum foil and spraying the foil liberally with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Place ½ cup of the water and the strawberry puree in the bowl of a large stand mixer. Sprinkle the gelatin on top and stir briefly to distribute. Let gelatin sit and dissolve for at least 5 minutes.

3. Place remaining ¾ cup of water, corn syrup, and sugar in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Stir to dissolve the sugar, and insert a candy thermometer.

4. Allow the mixture to cook without stirring until it reaches 240 degrees on the thermometer. Brush down the sides occasionally with a wet pastry brush to avoid crystallization. While the candy cooks, briefly run the mixer on low to ensure the gelatin and puree is well-mixed.

5. Once the candy reaches the proper temperature, remove it from the heat immediately. Turn the mixer to low, and slowly pour the hot syrup into the mixer bowl. Be careful, as the syrup is extremely hot. If you have a large (at least 3 cup) liquid measuring cup with a spout, you can transfer the hot syrup to the cup before pouring to make it easier.

6. Gradually increase the speed of the mixer until it running on high. Whip the marshmallow mixture for 10 minutes, or until it is stiff and shiny. You can tell it is done when you stop the mixer and lift up the beater, the marshmallow will slowly drip back down into the bowl in a thick, shiny stream.

7. Pour the marshmallow into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Allow it to sit and firm up at room temperature for at least 10 hours.

8. Sift the powdered sugar and cornstarch together. Cover your workstation with waxed paper to protect it, and liberally sprinkle the surface with the sugar/starch mixture. Sprinkle the top of the marshmallow with the sugar/starch coating, and flip the marshmallow face down onto the prepared surface.

9. Carefully peel back the foil from the marshmallow, and sprinkle the top of the marshmallow slab with the coating powder. Spray a large smooth-bladed knife with nonstick cooking spray, and coat both sides with the coating powder. Cut the marshmallow into squares, coating the knife blade with sugar/starch as needed. Roll the cut edges of the marshmallows in the coating mixture so that all sides are smooth and not sticky.

10. To save marshmallows, store them in a dry airtight container in a temperate, dry location. Do not refrigerate them or keep them in a very humid place. If they are stored longer than two or three days, you may need to re-roll them in coating. Fresh marshmallows go stale after about a week, so these are best eaten soon after they are made.

A Queen of Manner 2

2010-12-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Bukan loli namanya kalo nggak rada lola.

kemaren gw jalan-jalan ke dufan ama si loli. kita berdua ceritanya kayak pasangan couple-couple gitu nih, [jangan lupa saya cewek!!!!] jadi pake bajunya sama, biar si loli mudah ditemukan dan dilacak [nah ini maksud sebenernya!]

akhirnya gw dan loli menaiki wahana demi wahana. mulai dari biang lala, komedi putar sampe tornado pun kami embat.

tapi pas di perjalanan mau naek arum jeram,, ceritanya baru dimulai nih.

loli: ex, kalo gw basah gimana ya?"

gw: gak apa-apa. basah paling juga dikit. lu aja entar pinter-pinter ngejauhin aer.

loli: gimana cara ngejauhinnya?

gw: (sambil liat si loli deket-deket) kalo aernya ke kanan, ya elu ke kiri. kalo aernya ke kiri ya elu ke kanan.

loli: kan entar di dalem kita diiket, ex.

gw: diiket (mank piaraan??) di belt maksudnya?

si loli pun ngangguk sambil masang muka H2C (hup-hup cuapcuap). gw, sebagai teman masa kecil, pahlawan-keadilan-yang-akan-menghukumu ini pun menggandeng tangan loli sambil ngantri.

gw: basah juga gak apa-apa. namanya juga maen. no pain no gain-lah

kata gw berusaha menyemangati si loli. "NGAK!!" tiba-tiba si loli ngelepasin tangan gw terus lari.

(sinetron amat nih anak ya) gw pun akhirnya ber-india-indiaan (mengejar-jar-jar) si loli.

gw: kok elu lari sih!!

loli: gw gak mau disakiti [alah,, disakiti..bahasanya,,ckckck]

gw: disakiti apa? (ngoss,,ngosss..)

loli: kata elu tadi!!!

gw: apa???!!!

loli: no pain, no gain. itu kan istilah olahraga!!

gw: terus?

loli: olah raga itu kan hal yang gw benci.

gw: terus (makin bingung nih gw nyeritainnya)

loli: kalo olah raga itu cape.

gw: (diemmm, ideeem.. mencoba menangkap maksud loli yang berbelit-belit bagai labirin pengikat jiwa dan raga yang haus dan dahaga.. walah ribet hidup gw)

loli: gw benci olah raga, ex!

gw: TERUS!! mank lu pikir di dalem kita bakal di olah ragain?? mank elu setiap ke dufan belum pernah naek arum jeram?

loli: udah

gw: terus kemaren lu diapain ma petugasnya?

loli: kok lu teriak-teriak!!! pake nanya gw di apain ma petugasnya segala. ya gw disuruh masuk ma duduk d kapalnya lah, terus di duruh pasang seat belt sendiri, kalau gak bisa entar dipasangin sama si emasnya! mank elu belom pernah naek arum jeram?!

gak tau mulainya dari mana. tapi tiba-tiba keadaan seakan berjungkir balik. [kok jadi gw yang diceramahin??]

gw: ya udah. mau naek gak sekarang [sabar]

loli: ya iyalah. gak berani, gak akan ada yang di dapet.

gw [ding-ding!!] nah, itu lu ngerti!!!

loli: apa?

gw: itu maksudnya no pain no gain.

loli: ih bukan!! no pain no gain itu, gak luka, gak dapet! artinya kita harus luka-luka dulu sebelum naek arum jeram!!

gw: (-________-")

S E KI A N

A Queen of Manner 1

2010-12-01T03:49:00.000-08:00

sekarang gw tau kenapa cowok benci banget kalo di ajak belanja ama ceweknya. cewek itu bawel!!!!!!! nyebelin!!! gak konsisten!! jalan otaknya tuh gak bisa ke-track meskipun pake GPS tracker!!

kemaren temen gw Loli, minta tolong supaya gw nemenin dia ke mall, ceritanya sih pengen beli dress gitu buat acara ultahnya Doni (gebetan si Loli, padahal Doni tuh gak ada cakep-cakepnya barang secuil!)

akhirnya kita masuk ke beberapa toko dan si loli mulai nyoba-nyoba baju. tapi tetap saja tidak ada baju yang cocok dengan hati si loli.

terus saat gw ngelewatin sebuah toko dress yang dinding-dindingnya di cat warna-warni sampe nyakitin mata. loli terus minta berhenti. akhirnya gw turutunlah keinginannya dia. terus kita berdua masuk ke toko itu.

loli: ex,, dress ini lucu banget.

gw: ya udah, cobain aja."

loli: ini juga bagus, ex. (sambil ngambil dress yang laen yang bermotif bunga-bunga)

gw: iye,, coba aje.

loli: eehhhh, ya ampunnnnn,, anggun banget kayaknya gw kalo pake ini.... (sambil narik long dress warna item yang agak blink-blink di bagian dadanya, yaelah. kayak mau ke Academy Music Awards aja nih si loli.)

gw: lol (to-lol, hihihihi) di dressing roomnya cuma boleh nyobain dua.

loli: ya udah, lu pegangin yang ini dulu ya!! (sambil ngasih gw mini dress motif bunga-bunga)

akhirnya si loli pun masuk ke kamar pas.

"aarrgghh!!" teriak dia.

gw:' kenapa lol? (dengan muka panik kayak nahan kebelet)

loli: (ngebuka pintu) lucu banget!! liat nih (sambil muter-muter ala cinderella dalam balutan baju yang dicobanya)

gw akhirnya narik napas.

gw: lucu nih long dressnya, agak galor, tapi okelah. terus baju yang satunya?

loli lalu senyum sambil nutup pintu. sarap kali ni anak ya?? mari kita lanjutkan.

loli: eemmm, ex.. (masih di dalem kamar pas.)

gw: emm.

loli: (ngebuka pintu) yang ini bagus gak? (sambil berpose kayak foto model.)

gw: lucu, tapi yang tadi lebih cocok, ultahnya doni kan malem, kalo pake baju ini lu bisa masuk angin. (jawab gw logis sambil menggaruk-garuk dagu yang mungkin sudah mulai tumbuh jenggot. hihihihi [saiah perempuan!!!])

loli: iya sihhh.. tapi kan buat bikin ngiler si doni, gw harus rela berkorban...

gw: ya udah. lu suka yang mana. terus ni baju yang gw tengteng mau di coba atau gw balikin lagi?

loli: gw coba lah.. bentar (sambil narik dress panjang seterusnya dia ngelempar long dress yang udah dia coba ke gw.)

gw: (sabaaarrr..sabarrr)

loli: ya ampun!!

gw: kenapa lol?

loli: (ngebuka pintu lagi) iihh lucu banget gak sihhh??

gw lalu ngangguk sambil ngasih dia dua jempol supaya neraka ini cepat berakhir.

gw: jadi yang mana?

loli: kata lu yang mana?

gw: yang motif bunga aja lol. panjangnya sedeng.. lucu lagi

loli: tapi itu biasa ex.. gw pengennya gw waahh gitu di ultahnya doni

gw: yang long dress aja kalo gitu,, glamour, lu pasti dilirik dah

loli: tapi doni gak suka ama cewek yang berlebihannn.. yang wahhh tapi gak lebay gitu..

gw: ya udah yang mini dress yang item aja.

loli: kenapa?

gw lalu narik napas gw sambil menahan diri untuk mengeluarkan ilmu kanuragan yang akan gw gunakan untuk membanting si loli itu.

gw: karena (gemessss dah) karena long drees ma dress motif bunganya lu gak mau!!

loli: ih kok gitu sih jawabannya?

gw: (ngusap dada) jadi gw harus jawab apa dong? lu kan gak mau dress yang lainnya.

loli: ya udah yang dress item itu aja. tapi gw pengen nyoba sekali lagi ya. buat netepin

gw: eemmm.

udah itu gw taruh dua dress yang lain. yang panjang ma motif bunga. lalu gw ikutin deh si loli ke kamar pas (kali ini gw masuk)

setelah berlama-lama berlenggak-lenggok dengan dress itemnya. lolipun menarik napas dan menahannya hingga dia pingsan karena kehabisan oksigen (ameeen) tapi ternyata itu tidak terjadi. loli mengeluarkan napasnyalagi sambil cemberut.

loli: gw suka long dressnya.

gw: jadi? mau yang long dress aja?

loli: (ngangguk) tolong ambilin dong ex.

gw pun keluar dari kamar pas dan nyari long dress itu. dan ternyata long dressnya udah gak ada!!!! kemana kah long dress itu? sudahkah long dress itu menemukan tuannya yang baru? atau kah dia dibawa kabur secara paksa? tunggu kelanjutan selanjutnya. -detective ex- jeng jeng....

gw: mbak. long dress yang tadi kemana ya?

mbak toko (batok): oh, lagi dicoba mbak ama yang lain

gw: dicoba dimana? (yahh pertanyaan hewannn ya di toko ini lahh, masa di HI)

batok: di kamar pas nomor 5

gw: ooohhhhhhh,, ada gak yang lain?

batok: tinggal satu2nya (mampus deh lu!!!)

gw: (nelen ludah sampe keselek) makasih mbakkk

gw pun balik lagi ke tempatnya loli

gw: lol, dressnya lagi dicoba ama yang laen.

loli: cari yang laen dong.. masa dress ditu cuma satu

kurang ngajar nih si loli! mang gw kacung! kalao bukan temen sejak kecil, dah gw tendang dah tuh!

gw: cuma ada satu

loli: please exxx.. gw pengen dress itu.. please dapetin itu..

melodrama banget dah ni cucunguk. akhirnya gw pun menyerah.. dari pada gw harus ngeliat si loli ngamuk-ngamuk di jalan, mending gw dapetin lagi dress itu.

akhirnya gw pun lari ke tekape. disitu gw ngeliat seorang cewek (kemungkinan nasibnya sama kayak gw) sedang nungguin di depan pintu kamar pas nomor 5 sambil megang long dress yang dimaksud.

gw: mbak itu dressnya udah dicobain belum?

mbak: udah mbak. kenapa?

gw: temen saya mau beli dress itu. temen mbak mau beli itu?

mbak: le... lu mau beli dress yang panjang gak? (sambil nanya ke temennya yang lagi di dalem kamar pas [masa ke gw!!!])

'le': ngak!!

mbak: katanya ngak, mbak

gw: (saya juga denger) kalau begitu saya ambil ya.

akhirnya si embak nyerahin long dress itu. gw pun jalan ke kamar pas nomor 2. tempat si loli.

pas diperjalanan (seakan jauh aja)

le: (teriak pake toa) eh, coba gw liat lagi long dressnya

mbak: mbak, temen saya bilang pengen liat lagi long dressnya.

gw: tapi ini udah mau dibeli, mbak

mbak: temen saya juga kayaknya mau beli, mbak.

gw: tapi temen saya duluan yang bilang mau beli.

akhirnya beberapa menit kemudia gw dan si mbak di depan pintu itu beradu komentar selayaknya komentator sepak bola,, nyerocosssss terus tanpa henti (maklum gw gak mau kalah juga)

akhirnya si le yang ada di kamar pas nomor 5 itu keluar..

jeng jenggg..

yaelahh, gemuk gitu mau pake long dress, kayak buntelan dahhh

gw: mbak yakin mau beli long dress ini?

le: iya. emang kenapa? gak suka?

bussseeettt nanya aja marah nih si eneng

gw: yakin nih? serius?

le: emang kenapa?

lalu gw, dengan mempertaruhkan segala harkat dan martabat demi mendapatkan dress ini untuk teman kecilku si loli guk guk guk ini pun menjawab

gw: nanti kayak buntelan mbak.. (inosen pes)

le: eeeeerrrggh!!!!

kedua mbak (mbekk kali) ini pun melewati gw sambil nunbruk gw. (rugby kali, nunbruk-nubruk)

tapi tdak apalah, demi teman kecilku si loli guk guk guk ini, aku akan melakukan segalanya.

gw: lol,, ini long dressnya (hapy face, full of pride)

loli: eh, exx. kemana aja. berisik amad tadi diluar

gw: maklum, ketemu fansss

loli.: eexxxx..( suara merdu nan mengerikan.) kayaknya gw mau dress yang ini aja deh. gw baru inget, gw punya sepatu LOubutin warna item yang belom pernah gw pake.

gw: JADI!!!!

loli: beli yang ini aja

gw : ^$$&$!^#%@$!%$&^%(^(&$@$#@&%*U

S E KI AN

THE LAST KEY KEPPER

2010-11-19T19:47:00.000-08:00

PART 2

“Kurang ngajar dia. Akan ku adukan pada ibuku jika aku sudah kembali ke Greenwich. Igrove Shimoff. Akan ku ingat namanya, agar bantuan ke Essen dihentikan.” Gerutu alan saat dia diperlakukan tidak pantas di jerman bagian barat itu. Pada kenyataannya, Alan sengaja menempuh jalan yang panjang untuk mencapai mesir, selain untuk menambah ilmu pengetahuan, juga untuk mempopulerkan dirinya. Agar keberadaanya diakui. Bukan karna perawakannya, tapi kemampuannya sebagai Davis, malah hal itu yang membuat ia menggerutu sepanjang jalan, membuat ke-Davis-annya makin diragukan. Tentu saja perjalanan tidak selalu mulus, bagaimanapun tentu ada segelintir orang yang tak akan peduli bahwa kau adalah seorang raja atau Davis sekali pun. kadang alan dan pengawal-pengawalnya bertemu perampok di sepanjang jalan Hungaria sehingga alan kehilangan dua perkamen pembuktian atas dirinya. Melewati tebing atau jurang, atau hutan yang gelap gulita dan penuh bayang-bayang. Dan yang paling parah adalah saat-saat mereka bertengkar dalam menentukan rute. Argument-argument seperti “jalan itu berbatu,”, “banyak rampok”, “hutannya terlalu gelap dan menyeramkan,” akan disusul oleh sanggahan-sanggahan lain seperti “tahu apa tuan ini. Aku kenal jalan ini,” , “oh diamlah.” , “dasar keras kepala!” dan banyak lagi percekcokkan antara tuan dan pengawal. Tentu saja sesama pengawal tidak bercekcok. Karna mereka tahu jelas medannya, sedangkan alan tidak. Namun dalam hal ini, Tentu alan yang selalu menang. Karna Dia paling keras kepala dan dia adalah tuannya. “baiklah, kita beristirahat di Budapest, belanja di Baucau. Lalu ke Herzegovina sebentar. Aku ingin lihat daerah itu. Katanya sangat menarik. Lalu kita lewati Tirana menuju volos dan berkunjung ke Athena.” Kata Alan akhirnya disusul erangan kesal Burns, lelaki jangkung dan gagah, pengawal alan yang tahu pasti medan darat. “itu berputar-putar tuan. Jangan ke baucau. Ini bukan piknik, jangan ke Her, apa itu? Ah pokoknya yang itu. Jangan kesitu.” Kata Chang, lelaki jangkung dan pintar menyusun strategi peperangan, pengawal satunya lagi yang lebih mengetahui medan lautan. “kau tahu apa? Sudah ikuti saja aku.” Kata alan ketus kepada Chang seraya menaiki kudanya setelah bersusah payah mengumpulkan tenaga untuk melompat.

alan merupakan pelompat yang mahir. Jadi dengan lompatan dia bisa menaiki kudanya atau mencapai tempat yang tingginya sekitar satu setengah meter.

lalu perjalanan itu dimulai lagi dengan kesunyian dan muka kecut di masing-masing orang. Alan memimpin di depan. Sesekali ia menengok ke belakang, takut para pengawalnya diam-diam meninggalkan dia. Namun yang dilihatnya hanya muka-muka masam Burns dan chang juga kuda-kuda mereka yang keletihan. Akhirnya mereka sampai di Budapest. alan sempat terbuai untuk tinggal di sana.

“oh. Lihat itu burns!” seru alan pada pengawalnya yang berambut coklat itu, saat melihat keindahan kota. Semua orang terlihat santai dan ramah. Tidak seperti di inggris tempat alan tinggal. Semua orang terlihat tegang dan saling curiga. Maklum saat itu sedang marak-maraknya akan gossip perebutan kekuasaan dan keluarga davis dicurigai mengumpulkan warga untuk menentang ratu. Hal itu dikarenakan keluarga davis lebih dicintai daripada keluarga kerajaan itu sendiri.

“sudahlah tuan. Kita tak punya cukup uang. Ayo cepat pergi.” Seru Chang tak menyembunyikan kekesalannya terhadap alan.

“tapi di sini barang-barang dijual setengah harga. Oh lihat itu!” jawab alan tak menghiraukan chang seraya berlari ke pedagang kaki lima.

“apa ini?” tanya alan pada seorang pedagang.

“ini lampu minyak, tuan. Sangat indah. Terbuat dari emas dan kuningan. Sangat langka. Kau pasti bangga jika memilikinya.” Jawab si pedagang byang kepalanya dililit sorban berwarna ungu.

“berapa harganya?” tanya alan yang mulai tergiur, “berikan diskon padaku. Aku seorang davis.” Tambah alan sambil berbisik-bisik. “sebenarnya lima puluh keping emas pun tak akan cukup untuk membeli ini tuan. Tapi karna kau adalah seorang davis. Harganya aku turunkan jadi tiga puluh. Bagaimana?” jawab si pedagang dengan muka licik. “apa! Semahal itu! Dasar kau pedagang tukang tipu! Siapa namamu? Akan ku adukan kau pada kepala pemerintahan. Dengan tuntutan telah Memeras orang asing!” teriak alan sampai mata orang-orang di sana tertuju pada alan dan si pedagang, “30 keping perak!” paksa alan yang ternyata masih bersikukuh ingin mendapatkan lampu minyak itu.

“kau pun telah menipuku! Bilang kau seorang davis untuk mendapat harga yang murah! Harusnya kau berkaca!” balas sang pedagang. Alan akhirnya berhenti bicara setelah burns berbisik,

“semakin kau emosi. Maka akan semakin sulit untuk membuktikan bahwa kau davis. Dan jika kau naik darah, maka hal buruk tentangmu akan tersebar di seanteroan benua ini dan nama davis akan di cabut dari pada-mu oleh keluargamu. Berpikir tuan.. berpikir..”

THE LAST KEY KEPPER

2010-11-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

PART 1

1.Davis

Alan Davis membenamkan wajahnya ke air untuk menghilangkan rasa kantuk sekaligus untuk menyegarkan matanya yang selama lima hari ini dipaksa untuk membaca. Bukan salahnya jika ia bertemperamental tinggi, bermuka agak tua dan sedikit pendek. Atau mungkin hampir ‘kerdil’. Yang menjadi masalahnya adalah saat nama ‘Davis’-nya dipertanyakan. Keluarga Davis terkenal akan paras yang elok, sikap yang anggun dan tubuh yang tinggi semampai. “Apakah aku ini anakmu, ibu?” itulah kata-kata favorit yang akan Alan ucapkan di setiap akhir pesta. Ia sudah muak diinterograsi tentang identitasnya sebagai seorang Davis, bahkan sampai umurnya yang ke tiga puluh ini.

Alan menyeka wajahnya dengan handuk dan kembali mengenyakkan dirinya ke sofa empuk tempat favoritnya untuk membaca. Sekali-kali diliriknya perkamen-perkamen kuno yang bertebaran di meja bacanya. Dikejap-kejapkan matanya untuk menghilangkan kantuk yang selama ini telah menyelimutinya. Ia mengambil salah satu perkamen yang telah menguning dan dimakan rayap di sisi-sisinya. Berulang kali ia membaca isi perkamen itu dengan wajah tak percaya. Namun justru isi dari perkamen itulah yang membuatnya memutuskan untuk melakukan perjalanan dari inggris ke kairo.

Untuk seorang Davis, merupakan hal yang mudah untuk mencapai ke suatu Negara. Dengan mudah Davis dapat menerima bantuan, tempat tinggal dan penjagaan. Seperti saat anggota keluarga Davis yang lainnya sampai di Paris, mereka langsung diberi perlakuan khusus. tinggal di istana Negara, makan enak dan diberi bekal. Oh, juga ada hiburan-hiburan menarik lainnya. Tapi sayangnya, khususnya, bagi Alan. Ia harus membuktikan ke-Davis-annya terlebih dahulu untuk mendapatkan hal istimewa tersebut. Dia harus membawa lebih kurang dari lima belas perkamen yang membuktikan bahwa ia memang seorang Davis, ditambah lagi ia harus menunjukkan lencana-lencana dan menguraikan sejarah keluarga Davis saat ia mengunjungi Praha untuk sekerat roti. Bahkan saat Alan mengunjungi Jerman, ia butuh waktu berhari-hari untuk membuktikan bahwa dia adalah Davis, Sehingga kadang dia enggan untuk bermalam di suatu negeri dan hanya melewatinya saja, karna memang tak ada gunanya membuang-buang waktu bagi orang yang tak percaya jika dia seorang Davis.

THE LAST KEY KEEPER

2010-11-18T19:03:00.001-08:00

Tired

2010-11-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

i got very tired of this novel, then i realize,, this kind of novel doesnt suit me.. well then. i will send this novel into the blog and hope you enjoy it

i will update it step by step into an end, support ya pls. (-_________-;)

--no copies allowed--

Create An Unforgetable first Sight

2010-10-17T04:12:00.000-07:00

*BUAT CEWEK*

1. Being Humoris

2. Smart

3. speak is silver, silent is gold

4. dont touch your hair repeatly

5. smile a bright smile! dont be over

6. bangun suasana!!

7. dont be a clown

8. think!! cowok suka cewek yang muji hal yang cowok suka. mis hobi atau komputer rakitan yang dia buat, atau sketsa atau dll.

9. become a lil bit mysterious.

10. SELF CONFIDENCE

INSTEAD OF the word I LOVE YOU

2010-10-14T03:22:00.000-07:00

*BUAT CEWEK*

hi, dari tadi nih keliling-keliling nyari jawaban tentang:

"apa sih yang cewek pengen denger dari cowok?"

well then, ini jawaban para cewek itu:

1. aku sayang kamu

kata-kata ini jika jarang diucapkan, pasti akan terdengar spesial sekali saat mendengarnya. tapi cewek selalu aja ketagihan pengen si cowok buat bilang kata-kata ini. sehingga lama-kelamaan maknanya akan mengurang dan hanya akan menjadi kata-kata biasa aja. alias no effect.

belum lagi gals, kamu pasti akan menjadikan kata-kata ini sebagai tameng. contoh:

*kalau kamu sayang aku, kenapa kamu gak mau dengerin nasehat aku

*kalau kamu sayang aku, kenapa kamu gak jawab pertanyaan aku tentang baju long dress atau mini dress yang cocok aku pakai?

*kalau kamu sayang aku, kenapa kamu marah-marah karna gak bisa nemuin ponsel kamu yang aku taruh di meja, padahal tepat banget ada di depan mata kamu?

buat solusi yang ini, lihat http://highcalcium89.wordpress.com/2009/03/04/perbedaan-cowok-dan-cewek/#comment-129

2. aku menerima kekurangan dan kelebihanmu

tapi gals, kamu malah merasa mereka hanya menerima kelebihanmu saja dan mengomentari kekuranganmu. akhirnya bertengkar dan bertengkar

3. would you marry me?

apa benar jika kata-kata ini diucapkan, maka kamu akan segera berbaikan dengan dia dan akan berusaha bertahan di sisiny padahal kamu baru saja mau bilang putus?

4. aku akan menjagamu

tapi banyak juga teman-teman saya yang malah merasa jika bersama cowoknya, mereka akan tersakiti.

so girls! it's kinda big question

what do you want a man to tell you?

begitu banyak yang cowok kamu udah lakuin buat kamu. seperti bilang dia sayang ama kamu di depan teman-temannya.

untuk mengatakan hal itu saja, seorang lelaki sangat harus mengorbankan seluruh harga dirinya dan berani naggung ejekan-ejekan dari temen-temennya. (amin kalo itu cuma bercanda, tapi kalau dicemooh, kan malu tuh doi)

cowok juga sampe merogoh kocek dalem-dalem cuma buat ngasih kamu bunga dengan notes yang berisi kata-kata "i love you" di dalamnya.

tapi kamu selalu aja masih ngerasa. he's not the one

walaupun tindakan adalah hal yang penting. tapi bukan rahasia lagi bahwa perempuan itu lemahnya di pendengaran dan cowok di penglihatan. jadi sangat penting buat cowok memilih kata-kata yang yang bisa buat kalian kembali tersenyum saat sedang marah, atau menarik kata-kata 'putus' yang baru saja kalian lontarkan.

so what the words are??

kalian pasti akan melontarkan banyak jawaban atas pertanyaan ini. so let me give u a suggestion.

I NEED YOU

dalam bahasa indonesia diterjemahkan menjadi

aku membutuhkanmu

bukan

aku memerlukanmu

kenapa kata ini? karena bagi seorang lelaki, menjadi lemah itu sangat memalukan, apa lagi di depan wanita yang ia sukai. untuk mengucapkan kata-kata ini saja, seorang lelaki harus menarik napas beberapa kali dan harus siap mental. kata-kata ini sangat berat diucapkan dibanding kata-kata aku sayang kamu atau kata aku cinta kamu. karena kata-kata itu sudah terdengar sangat lazim dan menjadi kebiasaan untuk diucapkan.

jadi bila kata-kata ini diucapkan (tentu dalam kondisi dan waktu yang tepat).

i believe you gals will be frozz. won't you??

-di balik kesuksessan seorang pria, terdapat wanita yang kuat-

Love Lesson part 1

2010-10-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

dalam menjalin hubungan, selalu ada tiga kata-kata ajaib. let's see:

*kissing,

*affair

*and dumpling.

know what!!! let me explain..

bad kissing grows a sweet affair. then sweet affair Pops a miserable dumpling.

so what??!!

ini tidak berhubungan sama sekali.

kemarin saya baru saja dicecar habis-habisan ( oleh kaum hawa tentunya) karena saya (mungkin) disukai oleh seorang lelaki. [wanita itu benar-benar menakutkan ].

kejadian tersebut memberikan saya inspirasi untuk menulis di blog ini (kebetulan juga saya jarang ngepost, jadi sekalian aja ya!!)

masalah yang dihadapi oleh wanita ini adalah.

"UNREASONABLE JEALOUSY"

pernah mengalaminya??

sadar atau tidak sadar jika kamu melakukan hal di atas, bukan hanya percintaanmu, tapi persahabatanmu (atau hubungan sosialmu) akan menemui kata-kata 'Bad Luck'.

so,, bagaimana kita menghindari UNREASONABLE JEALOUSY ini??

1. THINKING

Mulai berpikirlah,, walau populasi lelaki lebih banyak dari wanita, bukan berarti wanita tidak punya hak pilih. Lelaki masih banyak Cuyy. ilang satu, datang seribu.

2. CALM DOWN

Cowok kamu ngelirik cewek lain????? bersyukurlah... itu normal gals!

dont be so pathetic

"hanya aku yang boleh kamu lihat"

butakan saja mata lelaki itu, kalau begitu!

meski pun lelaki itu setia, bukan berarti dia 100% tidak pernah ngelirik orang lain. jadi calm down aja, toh kamu juga sering ngelirik cowok lain kan kalau lagi di jalan?

3. POSITIF AND SELF CONFIDENCE

OH gals... you was born to be loved. so tenang dan punya keyakinan. setiap pria pasti akan mencintai kamu. pelan-pelan, jangan over protective.

dan selalu berpikir positif. bukan cuma buat hubungan kalian. but for your sake too. berpikir negatif hanya bikin wajah kamu tua.

4. IN RELATIONSHIP WITH....

udahlah,, status kalian kan udah pacaran,, so???

kenapa harus ribut-ribut kalau si cowok ngobrol ma cewek lain. yang namanya udah status pacaran, udah ada ikatan. kemana pun si cowok pergi, larinya kemana sih??

tapi memang, buat yang satu ini, dibutuhkan wanita yang super powerful yang bikin cowoknya cinta mati.

so cukup empat aja formula yang bisa aku kasih..

semoga membantu dalam menjalin hubungan ya...

and remember!! dont make yourself so lame.. jangan selalu berkata.

hidup kamu bukan buat pacar kamu aja. masih banyak yang harus kamu urus!! ok gals!!

--LOve is a simple Quote--

BARU NGEPOST

2010-10-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

mulai hari ini saya memutuskan untuk membuat cerpen di blog... daripada ngepost resep masakan,, saya stress masak-masak n memvariasikannya.... kekekekeke

semoga cerpennya menarik n bermanfaat...

aminnnnnnn

Manga Lover

2010-08-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

HI!!!

totally im becoming a shoujo manga and manhwa lover.

manga i read today is absolutely boyfriend.

OMG it's so touchy. i wanna cry when Night ( a figure lover ) die. this manga yearns me of make a relation. -__-;

but i dont have a time for that. i have to finish my novel soon. i have to be a strong girl!!!

but the other manga has been stucked me. it's

faster than a kiss *****

my boyfriend is a vampire ****

fly high ***

oohh my..my..

manga makes my heart hurts. when it happened, i had been end up with a pounding heart. so i couldnt start to write my novel.

manga makes me sad, laugh and what else? umm dunno.

but im looking forwards to those mangas. i love mangas....

^________^

HEHEHEHEHE. lovely

2010-08-15T06:52:00.001-07:00

be4 we off to the topic. i wanna tell u abt my day.

it's so lovely veibe was being in home. i hope all the fam could gather as well.

hey! hey! hey!

my novel is now being the last key keeper. it seems im being stucked w/ 'keeper' word. OMG. hehehe.

i'll make a story more complicated and step by step for unlocking the mistery.

i hope my novel get rich and reach the end soon.

but im kinda boring to write my novel. becoz i have to arrange em. the dialogue, then the situation the setting. it's an adventure. far from romance. so it's harder then.

and the horror story i have been writing here get rich too. but still hard becoz my hangeul is poor. i have to learn korean more. hahahahhahaha.

my project now is: stop dilly-dallying! no more time left.

hwaiiting vetronela!!!!

#69

2010-08-09T04:45:00.000-07:00

hi.. i change the title with the last guardian. but it's still sound lame. i will find the other title that suit to my novel. so the novel is tell about the seceret life that there's behind us.

when a man, named alan davis keep asking why to his lack. he find such a strange word on the old paper in his family libary. the word on the paper show something that we dont even recognize before. so alan with his two guardians, burns and chang, start the trip to library of kairo to find another thesis about the secret behind the word.

but as long as his passion goes. some strange moment occured. something died, live. and something unseen, being seen.

war ins and outs of this alan davis become a key to open the world that always close with our world.

step by step the secret being revealed.

and step by step life's begin to be death.

could alan davis stop something that he has started?

could he seal the world that must be sealed?

lets see. the last guardian.

im totally knock down

2010-08-08T05:01:00.000-07:00

the secret keeper udah ada yang pake judulnya... hwhwhwhwhwhwaaaaaaaa!!!!!

pas novelnya ganti judul, jadi gak semanget lagi.

padahal dah reach 65 sekarang. sayang banget. ppppppprrffffffftttttttt

sekarang lagi cari judul yang bagus dan keliatan misterius lagi. haaaa...

i feel so bad this wee long. ppprrrrrrrrtttttttttt

siro!!!!

siro!!!

i wanna take the gun then

FIRE

(-_______________________-;)

The secret's Keeper puzzle

2010-08-05T05:13:00.000-07:00

i feel confused about my novel that i have been writting . The Secret's Keeper, the title.

i just afraid of something.

it goes too far.

fiction and reality maybe will be mix and i dont know my faith is strong enough or not to create it.

i just believe myself, my novel will be end with a bang. but in indonesia. i dunno the reader will be like it or not. or it will be the best seller or not.

i just dont want the reader have the same feelling like me.

i dont wanna shake their fate.

maybe indonesian will take it as a joke, wont em?

i just hope it will be a story. and we are keep in faith when searching for the truth.

i hope i just hyperbol it.

i hope they just take it as a good story to read.

and i hope there a publisher that want to publish it...

(-________-;)

down to earth kwetiaw

2010-08-04T04:05:00.000-07:00

recipe kwetiaw ini tentunya udah membumi. tapi ditulis aja disini. kalo-kalo amateur chef (like me) mau masak. wkwkwkw

enjoy being chef for fam.

bahan-bahan:

1. cabai merah

2. kwetiaw
3. telur orak-arik
4. tauge, wortel dan pakcoy5. bawang putih, tomat, merica dan penyedap rasa

how to:

1. rebus kwetiaw lalu tiriskan. jangan lupa tambahkan minyak, agar kwetiaw tidak lengket

2. panaskan sedikit minya dalam wajan, masukan wortelyang telah diiris.

3. selang beberapa waktu, masukan tauge,

4. masukan sedikit air ke dlam wajan.

5. setelah tauge dan wortel agak empuk. masukan pakcoy (daunnya saja)

6. setelah bahan-bahan mengempuk dan air menguap. angkat bahan-bahan tersebut.

7. masukan bawang putih dan tomat yang telah diiris-iris ke dalm wajan yang berisi minyak panas.

8. masukan kwetiaw dan bahan-bahan sayur juga cabai merah. berikan sedikit merica dan penyedap rasa secukupnya.

9. masukan telur orak-arik

10. silakan makan.

(^______^;) cape juga memasak itu

selamat mencoba. (semoga dapur gak ikut gosong.. -___-"

Vegetable noodly

2010-08-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

make your noodles splendid and healthy!!

its a recipe for healthy noodles.

udah lama dibikinnya tapi baru have a guts to posting now ^_^ miane...

uuumm yummy.. is it??

just prepare.

1. sweet carrot

2. tauge

3. 1 instant noodle

4. the other vege that u want to add.

how to make

1. rebus the water.

2. rebus dulu bahan-bahan yang keras. ex. wortel dan tauge

3. setelah setengah empuk, masukan mi instant.

4. masak mie dengan cara biasa.

5. this is it. vege noodly, splendid and healthy ala vetronela.

silakan mencoba. ^__________^ (kalo mau nyoba) .. semoga gak keracunan yak!!

The end FAr!!

2010-08-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

ommo,, ommo,, my novel still far from the end!! it's now reach #42. i have to study harder. actually it's been month and like no significant progressive. hahaha

hwaitting!!!!!!

i'll write an iler here if it has been reach #69.

now im going back to novel again.

My Novel Reach 39 pages!!

2010-08-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

OMG. my novel just has reach #39. it's has been a month vetronela!!

try harder!! u have to finish it. and look for a publishing fac. to publish it. u want it huh???

but the revision is almost done for this time. next i will make the novel more complicated not straight to the topic again. people needs setting and path of story, need branch and risk.

so heart can jump and thirsty of the word in the next chap. hahahahahaa

but i want to finish kursi 15 I to... hufft how to do. but lets on focus of the secret keeper.

ah ya.... i dont think im ready to be in the crowed anymore. but step by step i'll try. being alone is good for me just now. becoz stranger just make it worse than ever.

i still can forget abt the pressure that they made on my dads day. they force my to do something i cant. to take a choice alone and force my to cry then force me to be fitted ( THE HELL??!!)

and i still in a big worry of moms. the disease get worse. and i have to learn abt the medicine, get the preference of it.

huufftt

i think i wanna have some liquor. but i dont like it, so i take milk for changing.

cigar?? no no no. make my hair smelly and im going to get cough if i use it. so i decide to buy Conan to wacth.

my daily life bcome so dull. sleep is the best terapy and abt eating?? it's fairy good.

but when i was in the church i feel bad. but i want to through this,, without GOD im NOTHING. yeah i know.

BP. Franke Diano Pepito wait me in heaven ya.. ill make some coffee again for you and papa JC. 2-1 or 3-1 it will be taste good in there.

oh ya. and dont go anywhere if i am cooking. u can leave if the stuff ready. im a good chef. u recognize it right. and a good coffee maker too. ill take care mom and vencent. thou thy kinda afraid of anger me.

and i will try to find a good way to heal mom. thats ur heritage or case that i have to end. moms disease. its weirdo and complicated. but ill find a human being that can work together with to heal mom.

ill not believe on witch doctor. becoz i wanna start again to believe that GOD is the doctor abv all doctor.

okay.. im ready to write my novel again. pray for me 우리 아빠. hwaitting!!!!

Just kill the time

2010-07-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

i feel boring now. i want to post abaout recipes just now. but it's now be done. i just dont have any guts to do it. i wanna take a bath but feel cold. i feel confused of something. it's abt medicine of moms. i couldnt get it without prescription. and truthly i dunno theirs function clearly. i just prepare with MIMS and internet to surf. im not acknowledge yet,, beside im 19 and not a doctor. my mom got the big terible relapse again last night. 4 am. and 7 am. i dunno what to do. and my dad has kick a bucket coz of accident. he's the victim.

i just really dunno my way. i have to replan my future. anyone's future and i got really-really mad when anything goes wrong. i know. waterloo is at hand.

i wanna finish my novel soon. The secret's keeper the title. i just feel my novel will end with a bang in a publishing world. i just love it and believe it. but i am still an amateur,, more than 25 page has been finished. but still need a revision. the setting too fast and dialogue so poor. description not that good. those are i felt when i read my novel from the beginning. i hope i could make it.

i wanna being an author, model and acting in theatre. but my dreams r like stuck in the half middle way. or maybe im not putting my leg at all to get it. i move but i dont.

ommo.. ommo

i just want my novel finish soon and i have more guts to make it up!!!!

aza aza!!!!!!!

from the beginning until now sheet. winter sonata

2010-07-30T22:24:00.001-07:00

its a violin sheet but piano could also play it.

i try to read this, but i could not work it out. i think i have to learn anymore...

hope be healed

2010-07-30T03:59:00.000-07:00

it had been over for today. 7th day ceremony for dad's death day had been completed. i should be tired of all preparation. i had booked a snack. waken up i early on the morning and done anything i could. kinda satisfy of all suffer. but i have been (maybe) never believe this surprissing moment come to my family. dad is so wonderful being a doctor, daddy and leader. he had been not gentle of course. so firm. led us as an army (in my opinion) but he had been so welcome and we do have been being in love with daddy.

why?

i wanna stop asking why. bcoz dad wont come back with a thousand why.

i just have been being in blue again on my life. i do know Jesus has been creating a wonderful future. but the ways?? who know.

JC.. i nu u love me and my family so.

lead us day by day so we could undersand your way.

sometime we (esp. me) get mad to U. but let me know i am wrong. U know the beginning and the end. head and bottom. let me throug this JC. i wanna say it but im afraid.

Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. take this cupaway from Me; neverthless, not what i will. but what You will. (mark 14:36)

let us

let me

so step by step we know the plan of Yours for us.

amien.

it's a week. new day but still the same

2010-07-29T01:01:00.000-07:00

ga terlalu banyak video yang kesimpen. flashdisknya, seperti yang gw bilang. error. padahal banyak photo-photo keluarga. ini buat papa. video qualitynya masih low. maklumlah. jam segini minggu kemaren. gw lagi duduk di ruang tamu. unggu papa pulang buat makan masakan gw yang gw posting di post bawah. tapi papa malah gak pulang. hari ini mirip banget kayak 22 juli. pagi-pagi gw mesti ke bank. belanja. dan pulang sebelum jam 1. dinginnya sama. kesehatan gw juga sama kayak seminggu sebelumnya. gw pengen tidur. ngelewatin jam 4.45 pm. pas gw bangun ternyata gw cuma mimpi. polisi gak usah datang ke rumah. gw gak perlu ke RS. gw dan kakak serta adik gw gak usah jadi anak yatim. dan mama gw gak usah jadi janda. banyak banget kecelakaan lalu lintas tanggal 22 juli. bukan cuma keluarga gw yang menangis. di tambah lagi kecelakaan pesawat baru-baru ini. kayaknya bulan juli itu bulan duka.

Tumis Touge tahu

2010-07-21T22:05:00.001-07:00

Gak ngiler?????? gak normal. hari ini gw masak. lagi niat gak tau kenapa. nih gw share gambarnya

UUUEEENNAAKK. maaAAKNYOS!!

ini dia resepnya:

1. 1/4 wortel import

2. tauge secukupnya

3. 3 siung bawang putih

4. cabe jawa secukupnya

5. penyedap (royko, masako dll.)

6. tahu secukupnya

cara buat.

1. bersihkan wortel, cabe dan tauge terlebih dahulu.

2. asinkan tahu dengan cara di rendam di air asin setengah tinggi tahunya. potong dadu

3. iris atau cincang bawang putih.

4. panaskan minyak dalam wajan. masukkan bawang putih.

5. masukkan wortel, kemudian disusul dengan tauge. tambahkan sedikit air.

6. saat wortel dan tauge sudah lunak. masukkan cabe yang telah diiris dan dadu tahu.

7. masukkan bumbu secukupnya

8. tumis tage tahu siap disantap.

selamat mencoba (kalo mau nyoba).

i nu u dont

2010-06-19T07:15:00.003-07:00

why those eyes see me like a sickman? like a hooker on the night, mingling with d ghost? hook up with darkness?

those eyes that i love, make me feelling down. saying owe to me like ama bitch.

im just wanna have a lil fun outside. i aint those fucking bitch. thats y ive been always asking abt 'is it a sin if i think abt me?' that is. definately sin 4 me. so awkward. i am in middle of the crowed, but lonely as death. ama w/ the closext one as weird as a stranger. even tho i said please for the smile. thee never gimmi a heart.. herait.. i need my soul rite now.. i dont wanna turn into a devil.

next time ill do better..

2010-06-19T07:15:00.001-07:00

i love y guys.. sorry for anger... i just wanna feel free

iseng

2010-06-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

udah lama gak bercurhat2 ria disindang,, tapi mau curhat apa gw juga bingung.. soalnya doi kan introvert.. apa yang sekiranya gak asik buat diomongin doi gak mau ngomong. tp okelah dicoba untuk mengeluarkan hal-hal yang dirasain (walaupun gak penting). sekarang gw lagi pengen nyoba kembali ke dunia novel lagi nih, setelah shok beberapa kali ditinggal novel yang wafat..:(

baru bikin dua judul di blog ini, udah kerangkai di otak, tapi belom siap dituangin ke tulisan2. OIa sekarang gw dah netepin kalo gw harus mikirin diri gw sendiri. jangan terlalu sampe begitunya mikirin orang lain. alhasil pekerjaan yang paling penting buat hidup gw tertunda. contohnya medical form gw..wkwkwk

hari ini gw mau cari tempat check up dulu ntar siangan..

oia kemaren gw ultah. sedih deh. taun ini taun terakhir jadi belasan.. udah harus lebih dewasa dan bijaksana.. banyak yang komplain ke gw kenapa gag dishow di FB..jadi mereka pada telat ngucapin..hehhe.. here the explanation. tho i nu u dont belong to here. just exlain from heart babe..

gw itu orangnya lebih mikir ke orang lain dari pada ke diri gw sendiri.. untuk ngelakuin kebaikan ke diri sendiri, gw butuh beberapa hari buat mikir. tapi kalo ke orang lain, gag pake mikir juga tancap. nah kebiasaan yang hampir ato mungkin udah mendarah daging itu, nimbulin keinginan pengen dipeduliin seperti gw ke orang lain. tapi gw memang hidup di dunia yang berbeda dengan itu. jauh berbeda. tapi ada satu orang, miming namanya. sms kata2 semangat terus setiap harinya. namun gw gag terlalu deket dan dia baru rajin sms tahun ini. 7 tahun temenan baru sekarang dia sering sms. dan gw gag terbiasa dengan hal2 itu karena gw udah masuk ke dunia gw sendiri. maaf miming....loph u so much...

off to d topic..

bukan sekarang2 ja kok yang lupa ultah gw.. dulu ada yang ingetnya sebulan kemudian ato malah gag inget sama sekali. plus sms juga kalo ada perlu ato maunya doang. yah memang bgn lah hidup. mau gag mau harus tetep maju. rasa dilupain gw ada sebagai manusia yang butuh diperhatiin dan hal-hal yang gag sengaja mereka lupain ato lakuin ke gw, bikin gw gag mau orang lan ngerasain hal yang sama..

eh tar lanjut lag curhatnya.. bye......

Fosil Bubur

2010-05-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

Bubur Buatan versi 2

pagi ini gw bangun dengan perut yang melilit abis deh pokoknya.. akhirnya gw mengusahakan segala cara agar gw bisa makan. Menu pagi ini yang sempat terlintas di kepala gw adalah:

1. Telor mata cow?? No way. bisulan ntar.

2. Mie? dari kemaren mie mulu.. ntar kena kanker gw makan itu mulu.

3. energen ajalah. miris amad keliatannya

dengan otak gw yang super ini. akhirnya gw berpikir ubtuk nyeduh super bubur. NIT NOT!!! otak gw yang ber-IQ lebih dari 200 ini-pun bekerja lebih keras lagi. YUp!! Go make some...Poridge!! akhirnya breakfast menu yang paling sehat dan possible untuk dibikin telah ditemukan oleh Dr. Vetronela Adonay, M.Sc...

dengan sudut 45 derajat dan api sepanas 54 celcius, gw mulai masak aer sampe mendidih. lalu gw masukkan semua bahan-bahan itu (cuma beras doang kok. gak usah panik.)

gw aduk terus menerus si beras di aer mendidih.... terussss....terusss.....

(setengah jam kemudian)

Buset.. masih keras aja nih beras, eh bubur, eh nasi.. pokoknya dia berjenis kelamin triple deh. dengan perut yg masih kuruyuk-kuruyuk akhirnya gw matiin tuh kompor. darah berceceran kemana-mana. usus terburai, jiwa tercabik dan....off to the main topic. dan saya pun makan seadanya.

satu suapan... lumayan

dua suapan.. masih lumayan

suapan ketiga.. lumayan susah makannya.. tu bubur lengket, keras-keras kayak nato di gigi gw. ahirnya gw memutuskan untuk memasukan kembali bubur ke panci. dan pada saat gw mau ngaduk tuh bubur. BussEEtt.. dengan biadabnya, dah keras aja mereka... tak mengerti hatiku yang haus dan lapar akan rindu..hihihiihihih ;:horrorr:;

dengan segala kekuatan yang tersisa dibalik nuansa pagi nan lelah..gwpun menuangkan segela air ke panci dan mulai memasak lagi....

dikocok2 bubur itu...dikocok lagi...dikocok lagi...

TarrAA... lahirlah bubur yang sesungguhnya...

WATTAMISEREBELLAIP

_sics_

Culinary Arts Vs Tourism

2010-05-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

OMG!!! it's not happen again K??? i got my nose bleeding then how can i be the good tour guide? but i love to serve people. then travel the world.. nu their history..tapi gmn boo.. tensi rendah..anemia.. i believe it will be better. sure!!

tapi setelah liat-liat jurusan lagi.. gw liat satu jurusan yang menarik. CUlinary Arts..jeng..jeng..jeng.. how lovely those food. gw yakin hal ini "makanan bukan hanya untuk dinikmati rasanya, tapi juga keindahannya".

well gmn lu bisa makan makannan yang begitu enak kalo penyajiannya. tata-boganya ancur??

tiba2 iler gw membahana seluruh negri Indonesia ini. meghancurkan jiwa raga dan..(fuiih.....maaf-maaf). dan gw tertarik ama ini. apa culinary arts job opportunituesnya meyakinkan?

tapi kalo gw ambil CA, semester 7 gw bisa milih mau lanjut taun terakhir dmn.. ada UK, AU, SG, Canada.. gmn gak ngacai.. tapi kalo TGO (tourist guide operation) gw cuma bs di domestik doang.. waduhh.. gmn nih ye..

sekedar bagi2 aja.. nih poto2 CA.. :;L-O-V-E-L-Y:;

simple but.. emm YUUMMYY
how can this be????
I want this one..hikss..
eits..gw tau..iler kalian udah keluar..sgn dulu aja ya pothonya.. ntar blog gw banjir acai..hihiihihi ;:horror:;

AArrrGGGhh

2010-05-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

Damn... i dunno why i was born to be lazy girl!! my mama told me, when i was young i loved to sleep so much. OMG...

ok let's fuck it away

gw udah milih universitas buat gw kuliah nanti nih guys,, ok..ok.. gw tau ini bulan mei. udah telat banget deh pokoknya. THAT'S RIGHT!!!! gw mau masuk Nilai U-C. yang harus gw lakuin sekarang cuma test kesehatan lagi. L-A-G-I. and y nu!! papa gw udah males kalee nganter gw ke RS buat check up. kemaren pas mau daftar beasiswa china dia udah nganterin gw soalnya. dan buat kul di malay itu ternyata lebih rinci lagi medical record-nya.. beneran dah pusing gw. sekarang bonyok ama si bungsu Vencent, adik gw (ya iyalah masa piaraan gw..ckckckc) pulangkampung ke sumatra. gw serasa terlantar karena gak sempet ngomplete medical record ama test toelf.. buset gw takut amad ama yang namanya test toelf.. pokoknya gw bingung banget deh sekarang. plus bete lagi, di rumah gw ama adik gw.. dia bawa temennya tuh banyak2.. ni rumah udah kaya gummy house aja.. lengket-lengket lantenya (blm gw pel..ntar aja). dan yang paling parah KAMAR GW jadi korban acak-acak mereka!! aduh stress dah buset. plus makanan di buang ke genteng. ancurlah pokoknya.. mereka niat mau cuci piring sendiri, tapi malah banjir deh dapur. piring basah langsung di ke rak piringin. ah pusiang gw. sekarang gw mau beres-beres plus nyoba belajar dulu. moga2 masuk deh bahasa inggris ke otak gw... kenapa harus berstruktur sih... gak bisa apa ceplas-ceplos aja aye ngomong inggrisnya....Toelf..oh toelf...

My heart Says it, it self

2010-05-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

cita-cita gw gak beda halnya sma anak-anak cewek umur lima taon-an.. all i want just to be a good wife. masalahnya keinginan itu makin dalem aja buat gw.. gw udah mikirin wedding dress and alll the stuffs i need deh buat wedding. terutama bridal gown-nya.. semuanya lengkap. kecuali groom-nya...hik..hik.. meski umur gw masih 18 taun, tapi gw bener-bener dah bosen ama yang namanya pacaranlah, TTM lah... berondong cakep gw juga gak doyan.. gw lebih prefer ke cowok yang umurnya 10 taunan di atas gw ato minimal 5 taun-lah,, lebih bisa serius dan gak neko-neko. gw mimpiin kehidupan pernikahan yang sukses yang gw gak pernah liat sebelumnya. gw pengen dapet groom yang gw kenal dengan sistem Ta'aruf yang terpercaya, pria arab ato yahudi yang saleh. tapi semakin gw pengen, semakin jauh kayaknya gw dari hal itu,,hehehhe.. alhasil rencana gw jadi seonggok impian anak umur 18 tahun yang berpikiran seperti anak umur 5 tahun

but this is still!! bermimpi bukan hal bodoh.. let me do this here... :)

I love here dress!!...3 stars for it, elegant, simple and charming. but still i can't feel the bite of desire from this dress.. i want the dress that can make me sleeples becoz of think of it.. it hasn't to be a luxury and prestigious dress. just need to make my heart jump.. like the first love....

this is my wedding belongs to be.. like a bottle of sampange. and the glamour heart as a wine and a cheer smile create... LOVE IT!!!

i dont wanna in a dream again.. im waiting for somebody who's gonna marry me.. (he must to be older than me.. of course)..

there's no late to dream..

-sics-

2010-05-22T03:59:00.000-07:00

more than blue....

2010-05-22T03:19:00.000-07:00

semalem gw nonton pelem korea nih, judulnya More Than Blue... sumpah petir siwalangkeke deh ni pelem.. bisa bikin gw nangis darah. jadi ceritanya tentang dua orang yatim piatu. main characternya abang Kwoon Sang woo (itu loh yang maen stairway to heaven).. ama satu lagi cewek yang namanya eun-woo. mereka tinggal sama-sama dari SMA. mereka suka satu sama laen. tapi gak pernah bilang "saranghae" (bc: kalian cinta aku,, hehehe bukanlah!! aku cinta kamu). abang kwoon ini gak berani bilang i loph u karna dia ngidap kanker, jadi dia nahan cinta itu buat sendiri. padahal si eun woo juga cinteh ama dia plus udah tau kalo dia itu sakit kanker. pas eun woo tanya si abang kwoon dia ada rahasia, si kwoon cm bilang gak ada. dan bilang whises-nya dia tuh cuma pengen eun woo cari great guy dan nikah ama tu cowok. sontak eun woo nanya "gak boleh ni mas, saya nikahnya ama ente aje??". abang kwoon jawab "gw bukan great guy. cari yg baik sono.". How pathetic.. pokoknya kalo kalian yang sedang gundah gulana, putus cinta, kalah Judi (loh?..hehehe), JANGAN NONTON PELEM INI!! demi kabaikan nusa dan bangsa, gw sarankan jangan! ekarena nonton pelem ini, gw makan ga nafsu, di jalan ngelamun, dan ngos-ngosan karena dikejar anjing..hehhee..

tapi gw bingung banget ama ni pelem, kenapa mesti bertahan dikala cinta itu menyakitkan!! (muuulllaaiii lebay-nya). apa susahnya bilang I love u? kenapa berkorban begitu banyak di saat lu bener2 pengen hal itu???

pelajaran moral hari ini: begadang jangan begadang... kalo tiada artinya.. begadang boleh saja..aa.aa.aa.. asal ada duitnya.. (loh??)

Vetronela's secret

2010-05-21T07:51:00.001-07:00

udah berkali-kali gw bikin novel.. mulai disimpen di komputer, laptop, email, disket, flashdisk. hasilnya adalah. kompi virusan, laptop rejet gara2 gempa, email gak bisa dibuka, disket dah punah, flasdisk erorrrr...pokoknya lima novel jawara gw hangus dan semuanya tuh hampir beres dan mau gw kirim. WTF banget deh.. akhirnya dengan segala keputus-asaan dan harapan gw akan novel2 gw yang udah sekarat. gw memutuskan untuk membuat blog ini. gw pengen tau aje. apakah gw "cukup" direstui oleh YMK (Yang Maha Kuasa) untuk menjadi novelis. so guys.. let me begin this project.. dukung saiah yah..ah..ah... tararengkyuuuu