Crazy duzz

i find it's suck to do something i dont like to do. why my life hasw to be messed up like this. i dont what i do and i dont like being pressed by other. it's like im pushed and dragged into the spider web that i cannot pass. i wanna be free. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE!!!!!!!

im losing my mind. wanna throw up. im sickening of this trap of them they had said for my good, not bad. i hate this

I GOT A JOB!!!

kinda nervous here... geez..wondering for becoming a flight attendant or a professional model,, well guess what?? im an entrepreneur now..

but it's okay right? experience to learn and chase what i am really wanna do at once..
it's like a pain on my butt to get myself unknowingly get this.

today has to be the day im off of my town.. but gezz again. i can't. my lil bro wanna see his GF. so i have to get out of town with him. on sunday. it's kinda itchy to think about it. i dont like to do something out of rule. out of schedule. huufffttt

what am i gonna say.. i couldn't do anything since i have to follow what the eldery say..


sorry to chill my heart out... i never want to do this but sometime i wanna have a medium to talk, since im hardly to find someone who like to listen to me..

ahh..then again i, twice.. day by day.. was draming about my death father.

first. i was dreaming about the day he died. but it's the other version. i saw my dad being stabbed by knife. i am the witness. but everyone didn't want to listen to me. they said i was crazy. so they decided to call a monk. the monk took a cellphone whose my dad always use. then it was becoming a medium to repeat (review as a video) the day that my dad being stabbed. afterwards, yes it worked!!

i saw again my dad being stab. then i cried aloud. i was mouning. i shouted, but nobody stopped the monk from the ritual. my family was waiting me outside and peek me, seeing me as i was just become crazy to see a video that they dont know what the title is.

after that, in the condition like i was being torture, i took the cell phone and ran away

weird dream...but the second is beseeming a reality

the second dream was showing how my dad so strict so cruel. i see my dad snapped at me and pull out his anger to me for being so snailly in taking a bath, so his guest can't use the bathroom. i never ask to dream about my dad....
but to know his anger and how th way he was angry to me.. an evil words and the way he want to beat me.. it's make me more comfortable......

Kind of Heels

Shoe Lovers, are YOU???!!!
yes! is that what im hearing now??

For a newbie in Heels' world. i got an information for you! before you got yourself to the store. it's wise to decide what kind of shoe you wanna buy and what kind of heels that convenient you the most.
of course woman could do anything for wearing the best beautiful slipper. but it's just not right to give people a weird show of walking if the heels you wearing doesn't suit you.

<> *shiver*

now ladies. rock on your feet!!

kitten heels,

are you an amateur?? if it's the very first time for you to wear a beautiful shoes as heels. this one is very recommended. comfortable and lovely. you can use it for working, partying of hanging out with your friend.

see kitten heels, here!


stilettos,

eemmm... you maybe such an expert for wearing this fabulus high and elegant heels shoe.
(i can't wearing such a heels for sure. i am such an amateur too. ^^)
this kind of heels is very perfect to bring you to an enchant ball room with a beautiful and pretentious gown covering your body. but this heels will be very-very annoy you if you wear this to a ceremony that makes you have to stand for many hours and it aint good for wearing in field work where you have to run.

are you kidding me!! never see what stilettos is? clik it here!


wedges,

yeah!! this type of heels. i like it the most. it's convenient and you don't get your tummy sore. trust me!
every heels like stiletto or kitten, even if it's so pretty sand elegant, but it get your feet sore! this one will overcome that matter.




platforms, block heels and pencil thin ones

Love is so Tasty

everyone has the different way to feel about love. the same goes to me.

about the heart thumping, the sadness and one side or requitted love,, i have my own words to describe those things. it's not so long when i start to fall in love again and it's still fresh like a dew in the morning for me to share.

for me, love is to devour. i dont care if i own the man or not. because what's i concern the most is the way i feel to the guy. the pounding of my heart and the slight smile that comes suddenly, the dazzling eyes and the sad heart. that's the feeling that i dont want to lose it than lose a guy, himself. for me, love is taste, love is to devour, to feel.

more than a possesion.

more than a love each other

Loving Harrys

i had had a boy i love the most when i had been in junior High. his name is Harrys. he's just so nice (up until now) and so tender. he's like a fragile paper for me to take care of.

for two years i had been in love with him. no word to say, no touching. just a simple glance and flirting. i never thought that i would fall for him. it's just unpredictable. love is always like that tho.. without noticing, without the rain falling nor the beautiful voice of the bird chirping. it just comes that way, special or just an ordinary way. but your way to feel it is the special way.

loving him just like that. it's just so so. just so ordinary. it's taste like a fairy floss. a simple sweet with a beautiful appearance.

Loving Robbo

sure!!!! it was taste like a sugar. nothing's special. just like it. just an ordinary appearance. so sticky yet sweet. but it could do. for me, Robbo was a child, yes we were so young. so the way i felt for him just like a cats and dogs (love) rain. pouring, drop by drop of sweet. pure above the cloud but was so dirt if it comes to the street. it was cats and dogs. full of play.

Loving Gabriel

the wise one and fabulus of those archangel, he's gabriel. loving him just taste like heave. i can't restrain myself. i am in the past an the present feel just stuck with his play. he's a liquor, a beautiful chocolate full of rum. bitter and sweet, he is.

my heart will always beat so fast when i see his dazzling eyes. father like, gentle and tender yet so kind. i want to devour him again and again. but still, from now on, the bitter is all that left. i wonder where the sweet goes.

Loving Luckchuck

the meaning of his name is 'Light, the bringer of Luck'. he's so talented and classic. i can't devour him. he's so far.. i really wanna taste the most classical and beautiful love like a cinnamon. but it's seems i couldn't. i dare to put down of all my willingness just for devouring my taste of love for him. i do with my all thought wanna devour his love too. he's so strict and cant be tamed and cage. he's so elegant and expensive. but still he's a wood, can be find anywhere. but his taste is unusual, just so good, very good and classic and honourable to devour it.

it's all the taste of love that i love to devour. love is taste like a sweet and i am the eater. they say love is a game for two. but in here. i am the one who play the role. because still, i am the eater. if the sweets becomes bitter more. then it's time for me to leave.

so, what is the taste of your love?

it must be good to devour